Man, and I thought Palin was scary.
As a feminist, I can't honestly tell you that I wouldn't looooooove to see a woman elected into the White House. Seriously, I think I can feel the tingle of an estrogen surge just thinking about it. Just a tingle, mind you.
That does not mean I want just anyone who happens to carry around a uterus sitting her ass down and propping her pumps atop the desk in the oval office. In fact, at this very moment, a truly nightmarish beast seeks the Presidency, and she must be stopped.
Michele Bachmann cannot be allowed to take office.
If you are white, heterosexual, and male, and you possess even a shred of empathy for anyone who isn't all three of those things, you won't vote for this She-Beast and her White-Hot-Flaming husband. This pair of nutcases want to throw us all back into the dark ages just as hard as she can throw us (personally, I think the husband is more of an underhand pitcher, unless he's totally the "catcher" I suspect he is).
If you've got plenty of money and you live rather comfortably, it might be easy to get on board with someone whose ideas and policies seem to affect you personally by way of just lessening your taxes by a smidge. Remember, though.. any tragedy could befall you at any time that would drastically change your life circumstances. When it does, TEA party members and Republicans (and anyone else whose political affiliation is socially conservative) would be just as happy for you to either hurry up and stop being poor, or just die already because you'll be bad for morale.
From Wikipedia:
"Michele Marie Bachmann (née Amble; April 6, 1956) is a Republican member of the United States House of Representatives, representing Minnesota's 6th congressional district, a post she has held since 2007. The district includes several of the northern suburbs of the Twin Cities, such as Woodbury, and Blaine as well as Stillwater and St. Cloud.
She is currently a candidate for the Republican nomination in the 2012 U.S. presidential election. She previously served in the Minnesota State Senate and is the first Republican woman to represent the state in Congress. Bachmann is a supporter of the Tea Party movement and a founder of the House Tea Party Caucus."
Let's start with this random assortment of crazy shit said by Michele Bachmann. It's as good a place to start as any.
1: Bachmann attempts to scare us from opening the door to the Census taker, because Census information was once used to "round the Japanese into internment camps". This was taken from an interview with Fox News wherein she made public her refusal to participate in the US Census (which is against the law). She was justifying her refusal by suggesting that the current forces in government are SO OUT TO FREAKING GET HER, that she refuses to disclose her information to them. She was expanding upon a previous mention she'd made about the then recently-passed national service bill that had basically increased the scope of Americorps. While even she had to admit that the current legislation made Americorps a voluntary service, eventually it would lead to legislation that would force young people into mandatory re-education camps. This is one of her many examples of convoluted scare tactics that end up being double-talk, seeing as how her own son joined "Teach For America", a member program of Americorps, AFTER the passing of the aforementioned national service bill.
2. "We're running out of rich people in this country" - Michele Bachmann.
3. Bachmann makes the point that the swine flu breaks out during the times when the President of the United States happens to be a democrat. It would be a catty, bitchy, cheap-shot comment to make anyway, but then of course her understanding of U.S. history is so poor that she got her ass handed to her by actual data and facts. The 1970's swine flu outbreak occurred during a time where Nixon (a republican) was in office.
4. From DumpBachmann.com
"During an appearance at Boutwells Landing in Oak Park Heights in late September, Bachmann said: "When people give you money, what that says is, they believe in you. They're endorsing you. It doesn't mean I endorse them. I wouldn't say that about my opponent, and so I think it's unfair."
Yet barely a month later, Bachmann showed her true colors and put out an ad which falsely implied that Patty Wetterling wanted to negotiate with terrorists. The claim was based solely on a three-year old quote from a member of an organization that contributed to Wetterling's campaign.
Moderator Kerri Miller confronted Bachmann about her outlandish ad at an MPR debate on November 1st: "How do you get from point A, contributing to Patty Wetterling's campaign, to she wants to sit down with Osama bin Laden?"
Bachmann stumbled in her answer, replying: "The organization called Peace PAC is a radical organization that wants to defund the military. That's what Peace PAC believes. Peace PAC believes that."
to which Ms. Miller replied "I'm sorry Michele, but you're making that up.
5. "Carbon Dioxide is portrayed as harmful, but there isn't even one study that can be produced that shows that carbon dioxide is a harmful gas. It is a HARMLESS gas" - Michele Bachmann.
Okay, maybe not one, but how about these three?
Carbon Dioxide Toxicity in Emergency Medicine
Toxicity of Carbon Dioxide - A Review
Evaluation of the Acute Toxicity of CO2
6. Bachmann calls for McCarthy-esque investigation into "Anti-American" activities of liberals. Remember, kids.. "If your mommy is a commie, better turn her in!"
7. Bachmann refers to the U.S. government as a "gangster government" under President Obama, making mention of the term "czars", which in fact started during the administration of former President George W. Bush.
8. "Not all cultures are equal. Not all values are equal" - Michele Bachmann
9. "I would have voted in favor of the life of Terri Schaivo, she was a woman who was healthy and had brain damage.... from a health point of view, she was not terminally ill" - Michelle Bachmann. Yes, people are indeed laughing at her in the background.
There's some bullshit with poor sound quality about how gay marriage is going to be imposed on Minnesota, etc.. we'll get to that later. To put it succinctly?
Goddamn.. bitch is CRAZY.
I don't know if she's just totally fucking too stupid to know what she's saying, or if she's got someone in her ear telling her what to say and her parroting-skills don't lend themselves well to the improvisational nature of public speaking. I don't know how in the hell she's got as many people in support of her as she does, what with the unfailing knack she has for contradicting herself. She's got a file as long as my arm on PolitiFact.com, which is a non-partisan website that determines fact from fiction when it comes to the talking points and statements of U.S. politicians. Bachmann has actually dipped from the "liar" end of the scale, down to the "pants on fire" end.
Let's go on, shall we? Here's where things get scary as fuck. Currently, Bachmann's digging herself a major hole and is holding onto her (incorrect) position with the tenacity of a pitbull on a t-bone steak.
During a GOP debate, Bachmann decided to enter a pissing match with opponent Rick Perry over his signing an order for middle school girls to get HPV vaccinations in his home state of Texas. The argument is really based in the fact that the vaccine is meant to guard against Human Papilloma Virus, which is a sexually-transmitted disease that is known to cause cervical cancer. Bachmann decided it would look UBER-CONSERVATIVE of her to take a pot-shot at Perry and call him a bad conservative because, clearly, mandating an order that would protect girls against an STD means that you're installing a neon-sign that reads "OPEN FOR BUSINESS" over their naughty parts. Where she really screwed herself was in her tendency to embellish facts for dramatic effect, and claim that she'd personally met a woman whose daughter had become mentally retarded because of an HPV vaccination. This is a claim that she can't substantiate, nor can she produce the "woman" who told her this tragic tale, oh.. and it's a BIG FUCKING LIE.
What's worse, is that she can't fucking let it go. She's going so far now as to label Perry's Texas vaccine mandate as "Perrycare", so she's got another keyword to harp upon when she goes running off at the mouth about it again.
HPV is often carried by men who aren't routinely tested for the virus, because its usually asymptomatic in males and there are no tests to properly determine HPV in men. Meanwhile, they get tested for other diseases and infections, come up "clear" and give the gift of cervical cancer to women who ALSO won't know about it unless their doctor is one of the few who make such tests a mandatory part of a full gynecological visit. Most of the time, the woman never knows she has it until something goes horribly awry with her pap-smear, in which case she gets brought back for a painful colposcopy. If you're at colposcopy level and pre-cancerous cells are found, you're considered "lucky", because at least you've got a doctor paying attention for cancer to develop in your cervix before it metastasizes like a motherfucker. Did I mention that cancer-causing HPV never goes away, it can be transmitted despite use of condoms, and that it's one of the most prevalent undetected viruses among human beings worldwide?
But despite all of these facts, Bachmann wants to pretend she's protecting innocent virgin girls so that they can save themselves for marriage, like that's going to fucking happen. With the extreme social conservative 100% pro-life stance, the conservative idea that making birth control available turns otherwise "good" girls into bad, and the idea that vaccinations to protect your girly parts will ALSO make you a slut, Bachmann is basically telling girls that sexuality leads to nothing but social ostracism, shame, and potentially, death.
Alex Pareene of Salon.com put it beautifully:
"Conservatives oppose giving girls the HPV vaccine because they want premarital sex to have (potentially deadly) consequences, not because they think vaccines are inherently dangerous."
Sounds about right.
Toward the end of limiting reproductive choice AND health, Michele Bachmann has also been caught in a major lie she told about a Planned Parenthood clinic in Illinois, which she accused of trying to be "Big Abortion. The LensCrafters of Big Abortion". The embedding link for this video on YouTube.com has been "removed by request, and although it wouldn't be any trick to embed it here anyway, I'll just embed a video of a CNN report talking about how LensCrafters was, understandably, pissed off.
As you can see in the video, Bachmann misquoted a Planned Parenthood CEO who ACTUALLY said he wanted Planned Parenthood to "Be the LensCrafters of Family Planning", the term "family planning" encompassing a hell of a lot more than abortion, Bachmann and her flair for embellishment struck yet again, and she had to substitute the term "Big Abortion". LensCrafters was not amused at all by ANY variation on the theme, so long as their brand kept getting put in the middle of it.
But of course, Bachmann isn't done with abortion on that note.. she continues on with the following little gem..
So, that's a long, convoluted "NO" on whether she supports a woman's right to abort under ANY circumstances whatsoever. Note that in the video, she keeps saying that life is a "God-given right from conception to natural death". In case you didn't get it, she says that very statement twice. She also adds that only GOD can give or take life, not government.
Just don't get sick. Or old, for that matter. Then she doesn't want to talk to you. She wants to wean everyone off social security and medicare.
From TalkingPointsMemo.com
"So, what you have to do, is keep faith with the people that are already in the system, that don't have any other options, we have to keep faith with them. But basically what we have to do is wean everybody else off," said Bachmann. "And wean everybody off because we have to take those unfunded net liabilities off our bank sheet, we can't do it. So we just have to be straight with people. So basically, whoever our nominee is, is going to have to have a Glenn Beck chalkboard and explain to everybody this is the way it is."
Michele Bachmann is married to Dr. Marcus Bachmann, and together they own and operate Bachmann & Associates, a "Christian Counseling" clinic. Marcus Bachmann is perhaps best known for this bit of insanity, doles out on air during a religious radio talk show..
To clarify, the exact quote is as follows:
“We have to understand: Barbarians need to be educated,” Bachmann says in the clip. “They need to be disciplined. Just because someone feels it or thinks it doesn’t mean that we are supposed to go down that road. That’s what is called the sinful nature. We have a responsibility as parents and as authority figures not to encourage such thoughts and feelings from moving into the action steps. ...
“And let’s face it: what is our culture, what is our public education system doing today? They are giving full, wide-open doors to children, not only giving encouragement to think it but to encourage action steps. That’s why when we understand what truly is the percentage of homosexuals in this country, it is small. But by these open doors, I can see and we are experiencing, that it is starting to increase.” - Dr. Marcus Bachmann
Call me politically incorrect, I don't care. Gay men around the world, YOU KNOW I ADORE YOU.. that said, did you catch the lisp? Here's a better question.. is it possible to miss the lisp? Can you not picture this guy in an ascot, hand on one hip, other hand wagging a finger of judgement atop a wilted wrist in the stereotypical "no no NO, girl!" manner, telling uth people that we jutht don't underthtand theth barbarian gayth!?
If you'd like to use Google to gather an amount of public opinion, all you have to do is enter "bachmann" and "gay" to find multiple web articles, all of which have the same headline..
"Everyone thinks Marcus Bachmann is gay"
To use one variation on a popular theme, Bachmann's so far in the closet he's hiding next year's Christmas presents in the far end of Narnia. Watch (and OMG listen) to this video clip taken of Marcus Bachmann meeting up with his wife in the "green room" at one of her television appearances. The title of this video is "Michele Bachmann's very NOT GAY flaming husband".
I really think the evidence speaks for itself, don't you? Oh you DON'T think so? Well you're just a SILLY, aren't you dear??
I normally don't add parodies or links to satirical items in posts like these, but I can't help it. This is from Second City, and it's to die for, girl!!
On a more serious note, the Bachmann's first denied that their clinic counsels people out of "the homosexual lifestyle", until a member of Truth Wins Out, a group that combats the dangerous practice of what is known as "reparative therapy" went undercover to the clinic to discuss his sexuality with a counselor. This is what he was told..
"Despite the fact that I never once mentioned having insecurities surrounding my own masculinity, Wiertzema took it upon himself to reassure me in our fifth session that “…because you have feelings of homosexuality, [it] doesn’t mean you don’t have masculinity. I’m just gonna go ahead and say that.” I was encouraged to further develop my own sense of masculinity and my personal definition of what it meant to be a man. When I mentioned that I can objectively acknowledge a woman’s beauty without having any sexual feelings toward her whatsoever, I was told that whenever I saw an attractive woman I just needed to reinforce in my mind that she was, indeed, attractive, and that God made her this way and made me to notice her. After all, “God designed our eyes to be attracted to the woman’s body, to be attracted to everything, to be attracted to her breasts.” Further, according to Wiertzema, “We’re all heterosexuals, but we have different challenges.” Attraction to the same sex “is there, and it’s real, but at the core value, in terms of how God created us, we’re all heterosexual.” The full article can be found here.
Did I mention that this clinic, clearly religious in nature, receives state and federal funding? Additionally, a great number of the counselors that practice at the Bachmanns' clinic have "degrees" from Argosy University, which has been sued by multiple students for lack of accreditation despite its promises that the school was in the process of obtaining it. Additionally, if you look up names like "Mike Griffith", and other names of counselors at these clinics on Google, you can find them running a posting campaign of massive proportions on the message board and forum areas of any television network or news website that has featured a story about one or both of the Bachmanns.
Maybe Michele Bachmann is a little bitter about the whole gay thing because of her husbands' nature. Maybe that's what leads her to have opinions like those she shared with Jay Leno.. Note how she tries to play dumb and cute, and Jay doesn't let her off the hook.
Ah.. they "don't discriminate". Cute.
Jay Leno makes another good point about why the TEA party gets itself in the middle of the private lives of Americans. I mentioned this in the last article I wrote about Rick Santorum, how it's fascinating to me that conservatives bandy about the term "Big Government" and how we need to get it out of our lives, yet the first thing they want to do is tell you who you can marry and how often you can have sex. Does it GET more personally invasive than that?
Oh, and she says that she likes Sarah Palin.
Ok, forget the parroting thing I mentioned. She's just a moron.
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