oh PLEASE say it ain't so, boys..

Here. Look at this.

Humor's Sexual Side

If this is true, than the majority of you guys are a bunch of pussies. For real.

Since its likely that a large percentage of readers (especially the guys) will be too damn lazy to pay attention long enough to read an entire article that doesn't contain the word "fuck" or gratuitous images of breasts, I'll summarize it.

This article states that some men don't have the testicular fortitude to date or marry women who can actually make them laugh and display a sense of humor similar to their own. To be fair, this is exactly what they said...

"A woman who deploys a typically male sense of humor—one that's aggressive or competitive—is a turnoff to men, says Don Nilsen, a linguistics professor at Arizona State University in Tempe and an expert on humor. Many men feel threatened, perceiving a funny woman as a rival or worrying that they'll become a target of her sharp tongue. "I think every man in the world loves the humor, even the sexual put-down humor, of Judy Tenuta or Joan Rivers," he says. "But very few men want to marry them."

This same professor goes ON to say...

"To say that men don't seek a funny mate is "painting with a broad brush." Men who do appreciate their female partner's humor are usually more secure, mature and educated than the average guy, he says. They hold their mates in high esteem and aren't intimidated."

Dear Mr. Nilsen... where in the hell are these appreciative men of which you speak? All I keep running into are guys who laugh their asses off at damn near everything I say, and in the same breath, bitch at me about how their girlfriend is such a fucking drag. I don't even have to look at the girl to know that she probably has to maintain a specific monthly budget out of her income for cosmetics and aesthetic procedures (waxing, tanning, mani-pedi, hair treatments, etc), because the aforementioned guy is usually looking around the room at women whose faces are literally plastered in place by artificial means.

Or better yet, the SINGLE guys I've met that shove me face first into the "friend zone", all the while complaining about how impossible it is to meet a woman who has anything interesting to talk about. Where, they wail, can I find a woman who can make me laugh? Why can't I meet a woman who can geek out with me about video games and b-movies and funny things on the internet?

This is the point that I usually stare down at my own breasts, then back up at the guy I'm talking to, and then back at my own breasts. If we're out somewhere, I've probably blown off my fair share of other guys while I've been hanging out with this idiot. If he doesn't get the hint about my awesome boobs (HEY DUMBASS. I'M A WOMAN), I figure it's time for me to go to the bathroom and make sure I don't have a penis that I've somehow forgotten about.

Nope.

No penis here.

I guess I just have bigger balls than the guy I left sitting in the other room.

Should have stayed home and pwned some n00bs in Killzone 3.