Divide to Conquer: Progressive Parties For All

Okay fellow and beloved progressive people. We need to have a civil, polite, respectful conversation about party affiliation. We need to pick parties. We need to accept not only that we're not all going to pick the same parties, but that it might be in our best interest to NOT all pick the same party. Even better, supporting each other toward taking needed, differing directions might be the most empowering thing we could do to forward progressive change in our country.

I've seen people suggesting that we join the Republican party to forward progressive candidates THERE because the Democratic party is far too corrupt to trust again. Some of us want to go Green/Independent/(Insert Alternate Party Here), and some of us want to go rip roots out of the current Democratic party and start there. As you continue to read, when I refer to the Green party, please assume I am referring to them and any other 3rd party that is trying to create its own power base.

The true answer is that all of these approaches can and will work, provided everyone can stop being assholes about it. We can actually divide and conquer, moving all of these directions simultaneously. I think that might be the best way to go, if purely for the sake of MOVEMENT. Right now, we're not moving anywhere and doing anything. Currently, we're all too damn busy beating one another about the head for so much as considering a party affiliation that seems to oppose our own party of choice.

A progressive infiltration of any party, and even all parties at once, very much COULD work. Ripping one another to shreds is going to make this multi-pronged attack a lot more difficult, though.

Personally, I'm heading back into the fray of the Dem party SPECIFICALLY to go in there and cause nothing but hell for the people currently in power. My aim is to help elect NEW people and to maintain my ability to vote where it counts, object where it counts, and I don't have any notions of uniting with corporatist Dems. I will not be donating money directly to the Dem party to do what it wants to do - if I were to donate time or money, it will be toward SPECIFIC candidates trying to move into that party who reflect my progressive values.

I don't know how successful the idea of moving into the Republican party will actually be, but the mere act of moving forward and attempting to work on common ground principles within the GOP could only result in one of two things: either progress toward building better Republicans, or a massive "brick wall" opposition of exisiting Republicans, which should be enough to get progressives to eventually abandon the idea and find a party affliation they CAN work with. I can see a lot of good work being done by progressives should they enter the Republican party, if just because that party (like the Dems) requires a bit of agitation in its ranks and a re-evaluation of what's important to American voters.

I do NOT believe we will encounter the same sorts of resistance in the Democrat party because progressive voters and Democratic voters do share a lot of the same ideals and values. The disagreement between the two left-leaning groups focuses mainly on whether the DNC is trustworthy or properly conducting its business. While Dems and Progressives DO agree, Progressives would like to take their fight farther left and the main argument with current Democrats is simply that they don't think its entirely possible. This is not exactly a disagreement so much as a lack of faith in a system that BOTH groups can agree is slow, ineffective, and unwilling to take bold steps.

As the Trump administration carries on, I see a huge potential for the Dem party to sweep in a massive number of members for the sole purpose of ridding our country of Trump. The republican party is currently doing itself no favors by backing him in all of his obscenely awful executive orders, and its becoming abundantly clear that Trump has no idea what he's doing from day to day. There is every reason to believe that as the public grows weary of Trump, they're going to lean to whichever direction appears to be the strongest opposition to him. The majority of American voters lean toward one of the two major ruling parties, and since Republicans chose Trump as their man, there's only one clear direction to go to oppose him.

I think we're foolish to assume that the Democractic party will do anything but strengthen as Trump's admininstration continues to agitate the American public. As such, our standing on our "principles" by avoiding them entirely isn't going to hurt Team Blue a goddamn bit. The Democratic party doesn't need US to get the majority numbers they will need to rise in power. Trump's going to do all that work for them, and they can sit back and reap the rewards of it in due time. Leaving the DNC to its own devices, staying OUT of it and not demanding any change from them is going to allow corporatist Democrats to run wild with power in 2018 and 2020.

We've seen this before. While there are a handful of us (comparitively speaking) who will do our research and will ask the hard questions, most voters are fairly apathetic. A large number of people who intend to vote, somehow don't make it out. Lots of people will flat out tell you they don't vote because they see no point in it. The general unwillingness to vote is a clear indicator of how habituated Americans are to corruption, and it results in a certain kind of listless apathy which makes voters easier to manipulate.

That being said, I really and truly support Green candidates across the board, as the Green party doesn't accept or promote corporatism. When possible in general/midterm elections, I'm happy to vote for Greens if no one progressive enough for my liking is running under the Blue banner or if said Green candidate is a better choice. If I feel this way about Greens, why am I not JOINING the Greens?

Greens are simply weak, if not utterly ineffective in the face of the two predominant ruling parties. On the state level, Greens can start working to gain a lot of power in their regions and should do so. Purely on state and regional levels, Greens COULD, in fact, make a lot happen. On a national level, the two ruling parties are going to need to have their foundations rocked and their monolithic presence chiseled down a bit to afford the Greens ANY potential as a national force to be reckoned with.

It's going to take a weakening of the two national parties' dominance and opposition to a third party uprising, and some major grassroots effort on the part of the Green in order for this to happen. There is literally no way around the fact that a lot of changes will HAVE to be made to allow for third parties to get a foothold, and that we desperately need more than two parties if we're ever to have proper representation of the needs and will of the people.

Take note of this in that I am not writing off the Green party entirely. Our problem is that we need to pursue realistic long-term goals, and its going to take some time to develop the Green party appropriately to present a national threat to the current duopoly. Those of us in states where there's not a snowball's chance in hell at developing a strong Green base can actually HELP along the Green party by aligning ourselves with one of the two major national parties and raising what hell we can toward the pursuit of placing progressive-minded candidates in whatever party positions we can. It's more realistic to consider 3rd parties an eventual goal that currently needs participants within all parties to ensure their national viability in the future.

I think we're shooting ourselves in the damn foot with all this division, silencing, purity testing, and nonsense. It's going to take all of us, but we're not going to be afforded the luxury of moving in one specific direction (as we did behind Bernie) for the greatest amount of change to occur. Some states have a GREAT number of progressive citizens and common ideals, and Greens have an excellent starting point to build a hell of a party within those specific regional areas. On the national level, however, the two party system currently reigns supreme and I cannot fathom any way to break that stranglehold unless the Republican and Democratic parties are either weakened or modified from the inside, with a strong emphasis on changing how they typically do business and why.

So, in essence, JOIN the party that you want to pursue change within. It's fine. Join the one you see avenues and angles you could work. Either way any of us go, its going to be a hell of a fight. We have to cease the infighting, though, lest it just be used against us and our goals. I think we're better off with representatives everywhere, pushing forward, than we are sitting in our frustrated herds and nitpicking one another to death.

Why couldn't we do this, instead? Why couldn't we not only join the parties we feel we could exert changes and progressive empowerment within, and STILL be united. We could share strategies and campaigns between us, crossing party lines and developing non-partisan solutions, pushing forward a progressive agenda from all angles.

For the love of fuck, join SOMETHING. We're all stagnating while we argue about it, and at the end of the day, we all want the same things. Going multiple directions isn't necessarily going to result in failure, and might be the unique, forward-thinking, PROGRESSIVE approach needed to shake this broken, failing, damnable system.

Bonus Reading: A basic guide to elections from VoteForBernie.com 

The Feminine Context

The Political Bitchslap Everyone Needs - All Parties Included

You know who's at fault for the state of the country? We are.

What the hell are we allowing to pass for "acceptable" out of our representatives and WHY? Are you THAT sad and pathetic that you're going to be content in sighing, shrugging your shoulders, down-talking others who are suffering in a crippled economy JUST LIKE YOU ARE, and assuming there's nothing to do about it?

Stop believing this horseshit that business-like decorum and understatement to the point of silence is good for us, helpful, or a mark of success. People who are representing us in government BETTER be fucking angry and ready to call out bullshit as it comes up, or they are literally nothing but well-dressed mouthpieces for those who want to profit off OUR suffering and need. Those people will NEVER help the rest of us get what we need, because they make far too much money on keeping it from us and giving us empty statements to lead us along. They will throw you a crumb from the big fat cookie that a corporation paid them, and then tell you that its the people suffering NEXT to you who ate the cookie you didn't get. Too many of us are willing to be complicit little assholes and blame that person suffering beside us, while that suited mouthpiece mumbles some more bullshit through his or her cookie-filled mouth.

Own up to it, for fucks sake, or we're all fucking doomed. Own up to how much time you've spent asleep.

Spare me your liberal or conservative sense of moral superiority to others. Shut the fuck up with your constant excuse making that those who are less well-off than you are living like shit because they're not up to your personal ethical standards. Your "moral superiority" doesn't mean jack shit to poverty-stricken children, and if you truly believe it's fine to shrug that off, YOU are probably the strongest arm of the of the many forces that are pushing those children away from good lives. YOU are a willing accomplice to suffering and further deterioration of the American quality of life. YOU are the voter who doesn't want to fucking bother. YOUR apathy is affording the rape and pillage of our nation's culture and well-being and you should be ashamed of yourself.

If your state representatives are sidestepping the point in endless, useless niceties and word salad, vote the them fuck out. Vote them the fuck out at the local, regional, state, and national level. What we thought were good, balanced, savvy politicians have FUCKED us for personal gain and cushy careers in well-paid jobs they barely show up for, while reaping work-offered healthcare, retirement, and sick pay benefits we are also paying for and will never see anything remotely as good offered to us as citizens. What's worse, is that we all truly understand that political figures are, as a rule, full of shit. It's a standard at this point.

Why do we keep voting for them?

If you were too damn cozy in being an uppity ass Democrat to see that it wasn't going to save you, shame on you.

Democrats have been dicking off, totally high on a sense of their own intellectual superiority, to the point that they don't even investigate who's paying their party members and how that could fuck people over. Your supreme Democratic intellect is used against you just as easily as religion is used as a tool to incite conservatives, and you can't sit here and pretend you give a singular rat's ass about the suffering of others if you can't even listen to them speak because they don't meet your personal standards. Poor, uneducated people that aren't as "worldly" as you deserve a living wage and health care as much as your comfortably numb, blue-voting ass does. To think otherwise is to be a bigot. If you think this way, accept that you are a bigot and if you truly believe that bigotry is bad, sort your fucking life out, mate.

If you let your religious preference be pandered to and thought that was just great, shame on you, too.

Republicans have been far too content to put blame their neighbors and in allowing the vanity of having their "personal relationship" with Jesus stroked as hard as any Democratic ego, to the point that no one's acting in any sort of "Christian" manner. Religion, which should be sacred, personal, and a means of self-improvement as a human being, has been made into a freaking circus side-show via which you're sold shoddy garbage, snake oil, and a ringside seat to your own destruction. Guess what? Your Republican representatives don't give a fuck about you or Jesus. Your preoccupation with Jesus just makes you a great big fucking propaganda target and you're letting it happen because you're a chicken shit who wants to be pandered to. Jesus would want the sick healed and for children to eat, from all I've read about the guy. If your representatives aren't putting that first, how the hell are you going to keep allowing them to align themselves with your savior? How are you not OUTRAGED by such blasphemy? You, as well as uppity Democrats who don't care about starving kids from out of work miners in West Virginia (cause fuck those red state people), should be entirely ashamed of yourselves. For people who want to work in the image of their savior to promote family values, you're awfully goddamn okay with little children and new mothers living in abject poverty and suffering. Just because a guy says "I'm all about Jesus" while he pulls the rug out from under families, doesn't mean he's your friend. Wake the fuck UP.

Oh, and independents? Fuck you, too. You're not helping.

You're leaning either right or left in most cases, fanning the flames of anger, and not doing jack shit to help put out the fire. You're decrying the moral decay of politics as you contribute to it on the citizen level, perfectly content to naysay and complain while everyone (including you) is suffering. What party do you belong to? I FORGOT. YOU'RE AN INDEPENDENT SO FUCK EVERYONE AND THEIR PARTY. You're too GOOD for working within the shit-stained political system, even toward the ends of changing and cleaning it up. What mass are you gathering to effect change? OH THAT'S RIGHT. YOU'RE NOT. You're sharing memes about how fucked up everyone else's party is, while you sit cozily in your little bubble, morally superior to us all because you don't see any reason you should have to pick either, corrupt side. The most ambitious among you are still doing nothing but forming utterly doomed little parties with no might behind them, cause most of you have nothing but disdain for every other party (major or minor) that isn't YOUR specific little horseshit party.

Anyone still got a case of the red-ass from 2016? I know I do. We tried all of the above bullshit for this past election, and we're sitting here with a failed Democratic candidate who didn't give enough fucks about her supporters to so much as pretend to care about the issues that most strongly affect them, nor support them when her opponent won. As a result, we are left with a volatile, moody, uninformed jackass for a Republican president, who's as ready to throw everyone under the bus as he is to throw a temper tantrum. The Democrats are too busy feeling sorry for themselves to even acknowledge the obvious progressive route they need to adopt to succeed, and the Republicans are working around the clock to hasten our demise.

We're all fucked and EVERYONE has allowed the worsening quality of American life to happen, to some degree or another. I don't blame anyone for voting any way they voted in 2016, because we were fucked either way. If you're not pissed off at how the primaries played out on EITHER side of the aisle, you haven't learned jack shit and you should review and reflect so that this shit doesn't happen again. Give yourself two or three smacks to your own, smug, stupid, self-satisfied face while you're at it.

You smug fucking Democrats didn't see anything wrong with superdelegates being allowed to choose the winner of the primary in advance of running one, and you should be slapped soundly for thinking that was anything other than corruption, cronyism, and an OBSCENE waste of money to even run a primary in that case. For fucks' sake, just the waste of MONEY alone should make us all furious that the Democrats tilted their primary in one direction, let alone the utter disrespect for all ethics in pretending that the people who support their party had any say in the outcome.

Republicans - since when the fuck was it a "family value" to encourage and cheer on an egomanical bully and praise him for being one? How is the concept of blaming others for your own problems (immigrants, etc) a "pulling oneself up by ones' own bootstraps" mindset?

Independents? You guys suck, too. If you wanted Bernie or Hillary or who the fuck ever, you should have gotten off your uppity asses and made yourself part of the process.

Kudos to all of you who DID try, and tried your fucking hearts out. I know that's why you're so battle-worn and bitter now. I don't blame you. I am just as hurt and angry as you are. You're going to have to drop it, though. We need to keep swimming or we're all going to drown in the aftermath of the 2016 election. Take all that you learned about election laws and rules in your state, dust yourself the fuck off, and get your pissed off asses to work well in advance of 2020, while we have a chance to do something about it.

TRUTH BOMB: sitting around in echo chambers, indulging in "Anti-Trump" OR "Anti-Clinton" circle jerks with each other all day isn't making you guys a movement. It's making your "movement" into a sad pile of angry little bitches who are only going to be angrier when this shit happens again and again. You ARE entirely complicit in the repetition of the 2016 political disaster if all you can do is conduct constant purity tests among one another and repeat things you already know, over and over again.

BONUS TRUTH BOMB: Everyone's getting fucking sick of your bellyaching, including those among you. We all know its getting us nowhere. It's time to shut the fuck up and move.
The sad fact of the matter is that we shouldn't have been so short-sighted, lazy, and apathetic as to allow the kind of choices we were left with at the end. Maybe we're used to it - all the corruption and game-playing to make a few people some cozy lives at the expense of making ours more miserable. Maybe it crept up on us, incrementally. Whatever the case, if we don't pull our collective heads out of our collective asses and DO something radically different from this point, we're even more fucked in the future than we are now.

.. and we're pretty fucked right now, y'all.

Don't sit on your fat, lazy, closed-minded, uneducated voter ass AGAIN and let the damn parties tell you who you're voting for. Get your shit together. Slap yourself in the face and say "I will not be made a bitch of, AGAIN."

Learn when primary dates are. PICK the goddamn delegates, reps, assemblymen, mayors, governors, state house reps, whatever, this time instead of letting the same fat fucks keep the same damn jobs, unopposed, that they've been sitting comfortably in for years. They don't worry about THEIR kids making it through school, and they're damn sure not sending them to school with YOUR kids. They're not worried about dying from a treatable illness. They don't have to. You're paying with your taxes to place them in positions of power and privilege, and you're also paying for your own family to wither away while these representatives you're supporting live fabulous lives on your dime.

"But I don't like the Democratic party" "Fuck the Dems, they're too corrupt" "Fuck the two party system!" "WE NEED A THIRD PARTY! I'll INVENT ONE AND YOU SHOULD ALL JOIN IT"

Well guess what, kids? The two-party system has all of us by the short and curlies and there isn't a goddamn thing any of your whining, foot-stamping, or going home with your panties in a fucking wad is going to do about it unless you're willing to get your hands (and soul) a little dirty and start getting in the right place to be plucking the con-artists out of these parties. That means you're going to have to be able to belong to them in order to have a vote.

If you think you lean more left - well guess what that means, sweetheart? I think you know the answer to that. Same goes for if you lean right. I don't care what you join. I don't care if you go Green or independent, but if you do, please stop bellyaching to the rest of us about your moral superiority when your effort inevitably fails because of a lack of numbers, electoral access, and the zombie-like mass of party loyalist voters who will always vote for whoever Team Blue or Red picks for them.

We can't fix stupid. We can't fix lazy. We can't make people want to think or grow a spine and enforce change. They'll just suffer on and whine and cry and do the same goddamn thing they always do - vote in larger elections where all the movers and shakers have already been picked for them, and then actually feel like they fucking did something by merely showing the fuck up and voting. We can't fix everyone and snap them out of the political apathy that is prevalent in our depressed society. Making fun of them isn't fixing shit, either.

Sad as it is, there will always likely be more of the party loyalists than independent thinkers. It is the responsibility of the independent thinking, hard-working, cunning progressives to get our candidates lined up in whatever party we can, to ensure that the average mindless voter mass is of some actual use to progressive causes. We can't make them NOT vote blue or red. We CAN make sure that whoever falls under the blue or red banner isn't another fucking jackass in a suit, ready to make money on the average citizen's suffering.

If you genuinely want to effect change, stop being a fucking crybaby and get in there and demand it. Get your equally woke buddies to do the same. GO TO WAR with the two parties who have the power and run for offices held by corporatist salesman who DON'T GIVE A FUCK ABOUT THE PEOPLE THEY REPRESENT. If they don't give a fuck about us, we need to actively mount a hostile takeover and throw them the hell out of those seats.

Stop with this pointless repetition of cursing out the parties, or pretending that the two parties are evil incarnate by their very names. That's pathetically superstitious and ignorant. The parties are the structures that have the power. There is every reason for them to strangle out independents and third parties, and no reason whatsoever for them to give up a single inch of the power they possess. Teams Red AND Blue will maintain this stranglehold if we don't get very hostile, very direct, and take that power for ourselves.

WHY THE FUCK DO YOU THINK BERNIE SANDERS DIDN'T WASTE HIS AND HIS FOLLOWERS PRECIOUS TIME BY GOING OUT TO FAIL MARVELOUSLY AS A HOPELESS INDEPENDENT?

He put himself in a position to KEEP swinging. He's not sitting on Facebook, sucking up the adoration of his many followers, bellowing endlessly about how he was cheated. He WAS cheated.

If anyone has a reason to bitch, it's Bernie Sanders.

Is Bernie being a little bitch?

Fuck no, he isn't. He's out there working himself sick trying to represent you.

If you're not supporting that effort, then YOU are being a little bitch. Not Bernie.

Stop being a little bitch. Start being a fucking warrior.

These two parties are not going to be overtaken by a bunch of protesting, angry goddamn hippies and weeping millenials (not that we all don't have a lot of shit to rightfully, angrily weep and protest over). They are two, ready-to-use power structures. NOTHING MORE. The people IN those power structures are abusing them for their own ends.

I think the solution to that is pretty obvious.

Get rid of those people.

Stop being a pussy and stand up to them. Put them out. Put new people in. Take that house over for the people. Don't sit here and wave your typing-fist at me and do nothing but complain. You're as much a part of the problem as the blind party loyalists you rail on endlessly about.

"But what of experience and time served in politics? Won't putting new people in with less experience hurt us?"

I don't know. What are "experienced" politicians doing for any of us right now?

I'll wait.

The Feminine Context

This Week In Ignorant Fucks - 10/18/2013

Aw, goddamnit.... where do I start?

There was so much fucking stupid floating about the news this week, my head hurts just trying to round it all up.

We've had the ultimate in toddler-style temper tantrums going on with the government shutdown, in which Republicans simply can't get over the fact that they didn't get their way, so they responded by taking their toys (and continued pay) and going HOME. Never mind the fact that they took lots of other people's toys and paychecks home with them while they act like fucking jerks.

Because of the efforts of (my heroes!) Anonymous, information has come out about the Maryville teen rape, terrifyingly similar to Steubenville in its cover-up and dehumanization of the victims. Thank you, Anonymous, perhaps the only justice for women now comes at the hands of "vigilantes". As an open cry to Anonymous, please tell me here if there's anything I can ever do to help. Thank you for caring about young lives that our tragically dysfunctional social climate would allow to be cast aside as easily as garbage.

Let me try to lay out some links to some of the better examples of idiocy for this past week.. in no particular order..

Fox News pulls out the sleaziest fucking criminal defense lawyer they can possibly find, and airs a textbook example of victim blaming with great enthusiasm.


Did I fail to mention that this guy's main areas of expertise are in defending mafioso AND "white collar criminals" who are charged with multi-million dollar fraud?

Clearly, Fox News was trying to put their best foot forward after the victim-blaming, slut-shaming, rape-culture inducing misogyny market was cornered earlier in the week by a WOMAN. Slate's Emily Yoffe, more commonly known as "Dear Prudence", heaped rape prevention back onto women with her one-and-a-half cents on the Maryville rape. Her choice of words was questionable, at best, starting with the pretty blatant title of "COLLEGE WOMEN:STOP GETTING DRUNK." Ms. Yoffe is actually defending her article, clearly convinced that we're all too stupid to understand that alcohol CAN be a factor in some rape situations, but obviously MISSING THE POINT ENTIRELY that the ghost of Jack Daniels doesn't come out of the bottle, angry erection in hand, and rape you himself at a certain point of female drunkenness. That, in fact, it's the man who thinks so little of you as a human being and so highly of you as a sexual opportunity who takes advantage of the fact that he CAN rape you, secure in the knowledge that some smug old bitch like Emily Yoffe will wag her know-it-all, admonishing finger at the victim afterward. Ms. Yoffe also has some weirdo idea in her head that what's actually causing all these rapes is that women think they are being all feminist by matching guys drink for drink. No, seriously. Like, as in, for real.. she SAID that.. here. From the post..

"Let’s be totally clear: Perpetrators are the ones responsible for committing their crimes, and they should be brought to justice. But we are failing to let women know that when they render themselves defenseless, terrible things can be done to them. Young women are getting a distorted message that their right to match men drink for drink is a feminist issue. The real feminist message should be that when you lose the ability to be responsible for yourself, you drastically increase the chances that you will attract the kinds of people who, shall we say, don’t have your best interest at heart. That’s not blaming the victim; that’s trying to prevent more victims."

What really sucks here is that the above paragraph is pretty much the only part of her piece that does, in fact, discuss how the perpetrators are responsible for their actions. At best, this is another disgusting, stomach-turning example of an educated, professional, adult woman who has been so indoctrinated with social sexism that she actually BELIEVES this is a progressive, proactive approach to the rape culture crisis we are all suffering from. I hate to break it to you, lady, but we all know that the world is dangerous. What all of us militant feminists are raging about is that we've TRIED ALL OF THIS SHIT AND IT DOESN'T WORK. You can get raped by any man, at any time, in any social setting, no matter what the theme or central activity is. The fact that women from all walks of life and of all personality types are getting raped is terrible enough, but the aftermath might actually be worse than the attack, and guess what? Emily Yoffe, you are now part of that aftermath. A woman suffering the trauma following a rape that was NOT HER FAULT, does not need to read this tripe about what SHE was doing, wearing, or where she was. The asshole who RAPED her needs to be questioned and scrutinized and shamed. There are dangerous people EVERYWHERE. When a crime or assault is committed against a man, we don't ask him what he was doing drinking at a party (you know, where people drink), or why he was wearing a certain kind of clothing, or why he was out late at night, or hanging out without some sort of chaperoning escort to ensure his safety... oh yeah, that's right. We treat men like people. How dare us silly bitches think we deserve the same courtesy.

From "How to write a rape prevention article without sounding like an asshole" by Erin Gloria Ryan, published in Jezebel, and using a direct quote from Ms. Yoffe's piece:

"DON'T write this paragraph:

'If I had a son, I would tell him that it’s in his self-interest not to be the drunken frat boy who finds himself accused of raping a drunken classmate. Surely this University of Richmond student, acquitted in one of the extremely rare cases in which a campus rape accusation led to a criminal trial, would confirm that.'

If Emily Yoffe had a son, she'd teach him how not to be accused of rape at a party. Not how to stay sober enough to remain vigilant and interfere with potentially alcohol-fueled rape situations, or how it's not okay to have sex with a woman who is too drunk to consent. Nope. Just how not to get accused of rape. Got it."

By the way, Ms. Ryan, if you read this somehow, please know that you make my everlovin' day, girl. I read your work all the damn time, and you're fucking awesome.
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Oh SHIT, yeah

this shit totally fucking happened..


Danielle N. Lee, who has blogged for Scientific American for at least two years and refers to herself as the  "Urban Scientist" was asked by a content editor for Biology-Online.com if she would write for them, when she asked about compensation, she was called a whore. What the fuck, right? Her blog post on this matter, including screenshots of emails, can be found here.

For the record, Ms. Lee.. I wish you had been my biology teacher.
-----------------------------------

Ted Cruz - SHUT THE FUCK UP. Oh my God, you're a moron.

In Ted Cruz news this week...

Ted Cruz calls birth control "abortifacients" - Huffpost

Ted Cruz fails to disclose financial ties to Jamaican Holdings company- TIME

Ted, Jamaican me crazy, here..

Chris VanHollen, representing the 8th district of the State of Maryland in the U.S. House of Representatives and also writing for TheGuardian.com, brought this lovely little gem to light in his article "Republican Rule-Rigging Cause This Shutdown and Subverted Democracy". Here is an excerpt from that piece:

"There are enough votes in the House to pass the Senate's "clean" bill to fund government – and this already represents Democrats being willing to compromise to accept the GOP's post-sequester funding levels for the short term. It would have easily passed the House with a bipartisan majority – had the House Republican leadership brought it to the floor for a simple up-or-down vote. But House Republicans – many of whom have long had the goal of shutting down the government – effectively wrote the shutdown into law with just hours left on the clock.

If that sounds unbelievable and outrageous, it's because it is.

The chairman of the House rules committee conceded that, under normal procedure with clause 4 of rule 22, if the House amends a Senate bill and the Senate rejects the House's amendment(s), any House member has the right to bring the original Senate bill up for an immediate up-or-down vote in the House. But just two hours before the government was poised to shut down, House Republicans quietly rigged the rules in their favor. They changed that rule to ensure that only Republican majority leader Eric Cantor could bring the Senate bill to reopen the government up for a vote – something they have refused to do."

In case this hasn't reached you on Facebook, here is the video demonstrating this rule-rigging in action.


and last, but certainly not least.. Linda Oliver, the Mayor of West Union, South Carolina, had THIS to say (and then promptly delete) on her Facebook:

"What's it gonna take to get these queers to realize they don't need a piece of paper. God will not bless their union because he plainly speaks against queers in the Bible. Want to cover your queer with insurance? Buy a policy. Want your queer to get your stuff when you die? Make a will."

From HuffPost:

"The post quickly drew an onslaught of criticism from Facebook users. Meanwhile, a Facebook group titled "Recall West Union S.C. Mayor Linda Oliver" was also created in the wake of the controversy.

But Oliver says she anticipated the heated response, telling Fox Carolina, "All I can say is if people want to crucify me, that's fine. I know that following Jesus, I'm going to be crucified."

On the topic of same-sex marriage, she added, "I don't want it rammed down my throat."

Though she insists she'll now use "homosexual," Oliver also defended her use of the word "queer," noting, "The way I feel toward homosexuals is how I've been brought up.""

You IGNORANT bitch, Ms. Oliver. I hope there is, in fact, a Rapture. I can't wait til it takes you, and people like you, the hell off the planet.

The Feminine Context

The Revolution May Not Be Televised, But We Can Damn Sure See You Fuckers Running This Shutdown

I'll have my rant on this. For now, enjoy Aloe Blacc's "Politician"

HEY BOEHNER! FUCKING SUCK IT.


The Feminine Context

Republican Extremists Must Have Orgasms Every Time They Lie About The Affordable Care Act

PolitiFact PWNS even more fucktards trying to spread misinformation and outright lies to terrify people about the Affordable Care Act.

YOUR TEAM LOST.. OMG, FUCKING DEAL WITH IT..

From PolitiFact:

"The Facebook post claims to be from a man named Will Sheehan. (We couldn’t confirm his identity.)  The post says that he tried to sign up for Obamacare and then decided to not go along with it; he then said he received an email detailing fines he would face.  

Here’s the full text of the post:

"I actually made it through this morning at 8:00 A.M. I have a preexisting condition (Type 1 Diabetes) and my income base was 45K-55K annually I chose tier 2 ‘Silver Plan’ and my monthly premiums came out to $597.00 with $13,988 yearly deductible!!! There is NO POSSIBLE way that I can afford this so I ‘opt-out’ and chose to continue along with no insurance. I received an email tonight at 5:00 P.M. informing me that my fine would be $4,037 and could be attached to my yearly income tax return. Then you make it to the ‘REPERCUSSIONS PORTION’ for ‘non-payment’ of yearly fine. First, your drivers license will be suspended until paid, and if you go 24 consecutive months with ‘Non-Payment’ and you happen to be a home owner, you will have a federal tax lien placed on your home. You can agree to give your bank information so that they can easy ‘Automatically withdraw’ your ‘penalties’ weekly, bi-weekly or monthly! This by no means is ‘Free’ or even ‘Affordable’."

We will check a number of the post’s claims below."

Please take a look at this post by clicking here.

The Feminine Context

Elizabeth Warren Pulls Out Her Pimp-Hand, Rand Paul and Mitch McConnell Make Bitches Of Themselves

EDIT - 10/04/2013 - cause whoever had the original YouTube upload for the Paul/McConnell vid BITCHED THE FUCK OUT LIKE A PUSS AND TOOK IT DOWN. Link fixed.
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Goddamnit, Elizabeth Warren..

I think I feel all tingly just watching this.

Senator Warren drops it like its hot (yeah, fuck off, it fits) on the GOP, lays down epic smack in the form of a bullshit-seeking missile style speech on Republicans and their efforts to deny millions of Americans access to at least SOME amount of health care.

Also caught on video, Rand Paul and Mitch McConnell making fucking asses of themselves discussing the shutdown strategy.

One thing that did not escape my notice was the point they make themselves in that their opposing Democrats were saying the same things in private that they were saying in public.... you know.. kind of the OPPOSITE of what the GOP is doing. Way to deliver the punchline on yourselves, you jackasses.

The Feminine Context

Anita Perry Can't Stomach Uttering Total Bullshit Out Loud, Media Frenzy Ensues

I'm thinking that Rick Perry is shitting platinum bricks right about now..




OH MY GAWD.. A PROMINENT REPUBLICAN STATE FIRST LADY EXPRESSED A PERFECTLY VALID AND HUMAN VIEWPOINT ON REPRODUCTIVE RIGHTS!

From the HuffingtonPost:

"When pressed on women's rights by Texas Tribune's Evan Smith at the 2013 Texas Tribune Festival, the First Lady of Texas said, "That's really difficult for me, Evan, because I see it as a women's right. If they want to do that, that is their decision; they have to live with that decision."

"Mrs. Perry, I want to be sure you didn't just inadvertently make news," Smith replied. "Are you saying that you believe abortion is a women's right, to make that choice?"

Smith pressed again, asking if she believed it's a person's decision within the law, to which Anita Perry replied, "Yeah, that could be a women's right. Just like it's a man's right if he wants to have some kind of procedure. But I don't agree with it, and that's not my view."

You can understand that women should have the right to choose what's best for them and, at once, not be all pro-abortion. To be pro-choice means that you realize that abortion is one of several choices a woman can make in the face of an unplanned pregnancy, and it IS in fact, OKAY to know that you yourself would not make that particular choice.

Kudos to Mrs. Perry for having the chutzpah to say this out loud in front of cameras. You can tell she's feeling backed down toward the end, but she didn't bail out entirely, either.

oh, and also VOTE WENDY DAVIS FOR SENATE!!!!!!!!!!!!
The Feminine Context

Rick Perry 's Hilarious Episode Of Cranial Flatulence

Direct link to video HERE

At the start of this clip, Perry drawls on about how "we've got to have a PLAN". Yes! Watch as he asserts himself in "action mode", declaring that there are THREE agencies he would do away with immediately as President.

If only he could remember which three they are..

Ron Paul's actually happy, for once, to be standing next to him. In case voters feared that senility might accompany Paul's age, "HEY, take a look at this guy here!".

BONUS: Herman Cain and Mitt Romney struggling to avoid schoolgirl-style giggle fits

The Feminine Context

According to Seattle Pastor, 100% Of Men Are Gay.

According to Mark Driscoll, a popular Seattle pastor and head of the Mars Hill Ministry, masturbation is an act of homosexuality.

You heard him, guys. You're all totally fucking gay. Every last pud-pulling one of you.

Appletinis and Cosmos for all!!! It's rainin' men! Hallelujah!

Driscoll has apparently decided to kick his anti-porn campaign into high gear with his free new e-book, "Porn-Again Christian: A Frank Discussion on Pornography & Masturbation". While I have to hand it to the guy for being able to come up with a catchy title, he's clearly trying to take advantage of heterosexual men and their "OMFG I'M NOT GAY" knee-jerk reaction in an effort to scare people into supporting his own biblical interpretations. Within this e-book, Driscoll writes:

"...Masturbation can be a form of homosexuality because it is a sexual act that does not involve a woman. If a man were to masturbate while engaged in other forms of sexual intimacy with his wife then he would not be doing so in a homosexual way. However, any man who does so without his wife in the room is bordering on homosexuality activity, particularly if he's watching himself in a mirror and being turned on by his own male body."

According to Driscoll, the only way to whack it straight is in the physical company of your own wife, or by looking at her pictures. He really doesn't touch (ha!) on the idea of women masturbating, so I guess he thinks it doesn't really happen enough to condemn it.

Yeah. This is clearly a worldly and educated man. He'll write a book about the spiritual pitfalls of internet porn, but he's somehow managed to miss all the vibrator ads that come side by side WITH the porn.

Driscoll's known as being hardcore in his old school interpretation of scripture, actively fighting against feminism, premarital sex, and modern-style interpretations of the Bible such as his assertion that in his church Jesus will NOT be viewed as ""a Richard Simmons, hippie, queer Christ... a neutered and limp-wristed popular Sky Fairy of pop culture that . . . would never talk about sin or send anyone to hell."

..but seriously, how effective are your auto-eroticisms going to get with a limp wrist?

Rick Santorum Works His Ass Off To Prove Continuing Obsession With Gay Sex

I don't think there's anyone on Earth more obsessed with gay sex than Rick Santorum.

Every time I think this guy's stopped worrying himself into a tizzy about male homosexual practices, he puckers up over something else. Here he goes again...

From HuffingtonPost.com

"Republican presidential candidate Rick Santorum touted his support for anti-sodomy laws and said gay marriage supporters wanted to "drive faith out of the public square" in an interview with controversial preacher Bradlee Dean, founder of You Can Run But You Cannot Hide International, a Christian punk-rock youth ministry based in Minnesota.

"And I stood up from the very beginning back in 2003 when the Supreme Court was going create a constitutional right to sodomy and said this is wrong we can't do this," said Santorum, according to the Minnesota Independent. "And so I stood up when no one else did and got hammered for it. I stood up and I continue to stand up."

Yes, that's right. He said "hammered". It's pretty scary that Santorum is allying himself with folks like Bradlee Dean. The "You Can Run But You Can't Hide" ministry is known for some pretty fucked up shit..

From HuffingtonPost.com

"Dean himself has made numerous controversial comments about homosexuality, including saying executing homosexuals is moral and alleging that Thomas Jefferson and George Washington wanted to make homosexuality illegal."

... and by the way, I've never met a heterosexual man that I could see being okay with his name being published as effeminately as "Bradlee". Just something to think about..

Extreme Reversionist Report 2011! - Part 3 - Rick Perry

Alrighty, let's stomp some more points into the ground... First, let me re-cap on what this post is about..

From my first "Extreme Reversionist Report 2011" post

"This post is one of a series that I plan to post over the next week or so. The purpose of these posts is to pick at the social conservatism of several American politicians who are each campaigning for the endorsement of the Republican party for the 2012 Presidential election. For this, I offer no fucking apology whatsoever.

The candidates that I have chosen for this tarring and feathering are throwing their political weight behind ideas and policies that endanger the rights and lives of many, many people in this country. Their "talking points" promote radical theories that are ignorant, shortsighted, and diminish the personhood of many American citizens. You don't have to be gay to know that you want a good life for your brother who is. You don't have to be a woman to want proper health care and reproductive options for your daughter. You don't have to be (insert any religion other than Christianity/Catholicism) to agree that if you don't want your own faith to determine how the state treats YOU, that it wouldn't be appropriate for anyone else to be treated that way"

That said, let us move onto the NEXT Texas Good Ol' Boy that thinks his accent and his propensity for becoming befuddled when asked a direct question may be JUST charming enough to get him the Republican endorsement.

If you've read this blog for a few minutes, or paid even the slightest attention to the HUGE collection of keywords to the left of this post, you've probably figured out that I am a strong supporter of American citizens' access to sex education and birth control. Typically, conservatives vote for abstinence-only sex education programs, which have been proven again and again to be ineffectual in preventing teen pregnancy or circumventing disease. The idea of the abstinence-only programs were to affirm that sexual abstinence before marriage was the only acceptable standard of behavior for young people in America. Sounds like a freakin' fairy tale, doesn't it?  Rick Perry doesn't think so. His strict abstinence-only sex-ed policies in Texas  high schools resulted in MORE teens having sex and more births to teenage mothers in as little as a year.

From a Huffington Post article by Shawn Lawrence Otto:

"Instead of providing fact-based information, the programs use fear and Jesus -- over-emphasizing the risks of sexually transmitted diseases leading to cervical cancer, radical hysterectomy and death, together with Christian morality.

One Texas public school district's sex ed handout is entitled "Things to Look for in a Mate:"
I. How they relate to God
A. Is Jesus their first love?
B. Trying to impress people or serve God?

Another public school district uses this:

Question: "What does the Bible say about sex before marriage/premarital sex?"

Answer: Along with all other kinds of sexual immorality, sex before marriage/premarital sex is repeatedly condemned in Scripture (Acts 15:20; Romans 1:29; 1 Corinthians 5:1; 6:13,18; 7:2; 10:8; 2 Corinthians 12:21; Galatians 5:19; Ephesians 5:3; Colossians 3:5; 1 Thessalonians 4:3; Jude 7).

The results? Teen pregnancy in Texas went up -- higher than before "abstinence only," and more than 50 percent higher than the national average. Even more troubling was that repeat teen pregnancy went up -- to the point that it, too, led the nation. It turns out that Texas kids thought that "if birth control doesn't work, why use it?"

It's also extremely tough for teenagers to get contraceptives in Texas. "If you are a kid, even in college, if it's state-funded you have to have parental consent," said Susan Tortolero, director of the Prevention Research Center at the University of Texas in Houston."

What the holy hell, man? Abstinence-only programs are as effective at deterring hormonally-charged, horny teens from sex about as well as most anti-drug commercials deter people from smoking pot. The point made by Otto is quite valid in that if people are taught that birth control doesn't work, there's no reason to use it. Additionally, these abstinence-only programs are well known to use misleading curriculum to scare young people away from sexual activity, as well as outright lies that could incite hateful attitudes toward students who are NOT Christian or adherent to Christian lifestyles. Some of the misinformation that ab-only programs are known to teach are as follows...

Educational fictionalizations that are racist in nature

The Holy Bible cited as a "medical reference"

Abstinence-only education ignores lesbians, gays, bisexual, and transgendered people

Same-sex behavior is only discussed in the context of disease and promiscuity

Half of all gay male teenagers test positive for HIV

Pregnancy can result from touching another persons genitals

If you don't believe me on the last one, try reading this desperate question from Yahoo Answers.  This kid knew enough about sex to know she'd had some variety of it, but too little to determine her actual risk factor.

Yeah, That's really fucking healthy, right there. Are we really wondering why kids are suffering from anxiety problems at that age?

Rick Perry's answer? Well, he doesn't really have one other than "abstinence works". This is his roundabout way of saying it when confronted with the fact that teen pregnancies had actually INCREASED in Texas with the implementation of these programs.



From AdvocatesForYouth.org:

"On one side are those that support comprehensive sex education—education that promotes abstinence but includes information about contraception and condoms to build young people's knowledge, attitudes and skills for when they do become sexually active. On the other side are those that favor abstinence-only-until-marriage—programs that promote "abstinence from sexual activity outside marriage as the expected standard of behavior. Proponents of abstinence-only programs believe that providing information about the health benefits of condoms or contraception contradicts their message of abstinence-only and undermines its impact. As such, abstinence-only programs provide no information about contraception beyond failure rates.
....
..Abstinence-only programs show little evidence of sustained (long-term) impact on attitudes and intentions. Worse, they show some negative impacts on youth's willingness to use contraception, including condoms, to prevent negative sexual health outcomes related to sexual intercourse. Importantly, only in one state did any program demonstrate short-term success in delaying the initiation of sex; none of these programs demonstrates evidence of long-term success in delaying sexual initiation among youth exposed to the programs or any evidence of success in reducing other sexual risk-taking behaviors among participants."

Not to be facetious, but here's a little clue about what happens with poor sex education...


I'm really not trying to beat anyone's head into the ground with this issue, but it's extremely important. Misinformation about a natural biological function that bears as many potential ramifications as sex does, is dangerous, ignorant, and I truly believe this misinformation is a major cause of so much fear and hatred in our society.

Right now, none of the major contenders for the 2012 republican candidacy are talking about this subject at all. To support abstinence-only education would leave them open to a full-assault on its ineffectiveness, to condemn it would risk their base of conservative voters. I'll leave it to you to decide.. do you really think that any of the GOP nutcases would agree to fund comprehensive sex education should they win the presidential election?

It's a pretty safe bet that they won't, actually. It would increase the awareness level of a whole generation of young, future voters, and they can't have that. They wouldn't be as easy to manipulate anymore through fear or guilt.

The only thing that I can say that's remotely positive about Rick Perry and sexual health is that I do agree with his Texas mandate regarding HPV vaccinations, which he's now trying to downplay as much as humanly possible.  He's AT LEAST one of the few GOP candidates that believes in abortion rights for incest/rape victims and in the case of maternal health risk, but that sad part is that almost all the rest of them seem to want to eliminate abortion rights completely. By comparison, Perry comes across as almost human.

Oh wait. Perry thinks that homeless people are homeless by choice...

"When Los Angeles passed an ordinance prohibiting people from camping out on city streets and sidewalks throughout the day, the ACLU sued; the ordinance was ruled unconstitutional. Recognizing that some people suddenly find themselves homeless because of tragic, unanticipated circumstances, I would not say that all homeless people are voluntarily in their predicament. Many homeless have chosen their lifestyle--not as a conscious lifestyle choice made in prior years of sobriety but through a series of decisions that not only led to their homelessness, but also perpetuate it. They choose to drink, they choose to get high, they choose to engage in a life or crime, and often they choose to do it all on the streets instead of in shelters where there is strict enforcement of prohibitions on such behavior. The homeless need help. But the help they need is to make some of their behavior more difficult to engage in. If you take a hard approach to blight, then you create a disincentive for continuing blight "


Source: On My Honor, by Gov. Rick Perry, p.127-128 Feb 12, 2008  

I'm sure the (more than) 15% of Americans living in poverty are really going to appreciate that sentiment. Especially when you compare the civil rights movement to the Republican struggle for lower corporate taxes..

Yeah, seriously. Check this out..

Now that's a guy who cares about the plight of Americans!

Perry likes to brag about all the jobs that have been created in Texas under his administration, but what he carefully avoids mentioning is that nearly all of those jobs pay minimum wage. Perry's job creation "accomplishments" have been called "one stage away from slavery", because although the people of Texas may be working, they are largely working for minimum wage with no medical benefits. The national average of Americans living in poverty is 15.1%, whereas in Texas that average stands at 18.4%. I suppose when someone breaks a limb, that's some sort of subconscious choice to be homeless, according to Perry's views on these matters.

"I'm Governor Rick Perry. And I'm proud to be here today with the Tea Party Express. And I simply want to get America working again and make Washington, D.C., as inconsequential in your life as I can. "

Source: 2011 GOP Tea Party debate in Tampa FL Sep 12, 2011   

Shit. Maybe it IS time for "class warfare".. Rather, maybe it's time for the subjugated class to actually fight BACK.

State Tax Systems Burden The Poor, While Rich Get Off Easy - HuffingtonPost Article

"Contrary to the rhetoric from Republicans that half of Americans are not paying income taxes, at the state level the poor are paying more than twice as much of their income toward taxes than the super rich. At the same time poverty levels haven risen to highs not seen since 1993, with 15.1 percent of Americans officially classified as poor.

But those in the bottom 20 percent pay closer to 12 or 13 percent of their income in state and local taxes on average. The top 1 percent of income earners only pay 7 to 8 percent, according to the Institute on Taxation & Economic Policy." - Tyler Kingkade, Huffington Post


Go HERE to see this story on HuffingtonPost.com

Extreme Reversionist Report 2011! Part Two: Michele Bachmann

Man, and I thought Palin was scary.

As a feminist, I can't honestly tell you that I wouldn't looooooove to see a woman elected into the White House. Seriously, I think I can feel the tingle of an estrogen surge just thinking about it. Just a tingle, mind you.

That does not mean I want just anyone who happens to carry around a uterus sitting her ass down and propping her pumps atop the desk in the oval office. In fact, at this very moment, a truly nightmarish beast seeks the Presidency, and she must be stopped.

Michele Bachmann cannot be allowed to take office.

If you are white, heterosexual, and male, and you possess even a shred of empathy for anyone who isn't all three of those things, you won't vote for this She-Beast and her White-Hot-Flaming husband.  This pair of nutcases want to throw us all back into the dark ages just as hard as she can throw us (personally, I think the husband is more of an underhand pitcher, unless he's totally the "catcher" I suspect he is).

If you've got plenty of money and you live rather comfortably, it might be easy to get on board with someone whose ideas and policies seem to affect you personally by way of just lessening your taxes by a smidge. Remember, though.. any tragedy could befall you at any time that would drastically change your life circumstances. When it does, TEA party members and Republicans (and anyone else whose political affiliation is socially conservative) would be just as happy for you to either hurry up and stop being poor, or just die already because you'll be bad for morale.

From Wikipedia:

"Michele Marie Bachmann (née Amble; April 6, 1956) is a Republican member of the United States House of Representatives, representing Minnesota's 6th congressional district, a post she has held since 2007. The district includes several of the northern suburbs of the Twin Cities, such as Woodbury, and Blaine as well as Stillwater and St. Cloud.


She is currently a candidate for the Republican nomination in the 2012 U.S. presidential election. She previously served in the Minnesota State Senate and is the first Republican woman to represent the state in Congress. Bachmann is a supporter of the Tea Party movement and a founder of the House Tea Party Caucus."

Let's start with this random assortment of crazy shit said by Michele Bachmann. It's as good a place to start as any.



1: Bachmann attempts to scare us from opening the door to the Census taker, because Census information was once used to "round the Japanese into internment camps". This was taken from an interview with Fox News wherein she made public her refusal to participate in the US Census (which is against the law). She was justifying her refusal by suggesting that the current forces in government are SO OUT TO FREAKING GET HER, that she refuses to disclose her information to them. She was expanding upon a previous mention she'd made about the then recently-passed national service bill that had basically increased the scope of Americorps. While even she had to admit that the current legislation made Americorps a voluntary service, eventually it would lead to legislation that would force young people into mandatory re-education camps. This is one of her many examples of convoluted scare tactics that end up being double-talk, seeing as how her own son joined "Teach For America", a member program of Americorps, AFTER the passing of the aforementioned national service bill.

2. "We're running out of rich people in this country" - Michele Bachmann.

3. Bachmann makes the point that the swine flu breaks out during the times when the President of the United States happens to be a democrat. It would be a catty, bitchy, cheap-shot comment to make anyway, but then of course her understanding of U.S. history is so poor that she got her ass handed to her by actual data and facts. The 1970's swine flu outbreak occurred during a time where Nixon (a republican) was in office.

4. From DumpBachmann.com

"During an appearance at Boutwells Landing in Oak Park Heights in late September, Bachmann said: "When people give you money, what that says is, they believe in you. They're endorsing you. It doesn't mean I endorse them. I wouldn't say that about my opponent, and so I think it's unfair."

Yet barely a month later, Bachmann showed her true colors and put out an ad which falsely implied that Patty Wetterling wanted to negotiate with terrorists. The claim was based solely on a three-year old quote from a member of an organization that contributed to Wetterling's campaign.

Moderator Kerri Miller confronted Bachmann about her outlandish ad at an MPR debate on November 1st: "How do you get from point A, contributing to Patty Wetterling's campaign, to she wants to sit down with Osama bin Laden?"

Bachmann stumbled in her answer, replying: "The organization called Peace PAC is a radical organization that wants to defund the military. That's what Peace PAC believes. Peace PAC believes that."
to which Ms. Miller replied "I'm sorry Michele, but you're making that up.

5. "Carbon Dioxide is portrayed as harmful, but there isn't even one study that can be produced that shows that carbon dioxide is a harmful gas. It is a HARMLESS gas" - Michele Bachmann.

Okay, maybe not one, but how about these three?

Carbon Dioxide Toxicity in Emergency Medicine
Toxicity of Carbon Dioxide - A Review
Evaluation of the Acute Toxicity of CO2

6. Bachmann calls for McCarthy-esque investigation into "Anti-American" activities of liberals.  Remember, kids.. "If your mommy is a commie, better turn her in!"

7. Bachmann refers to the U.S. government as a "gangster government" under President Obama, making mention of the term "czars", which in fact started during the administration of former President George W. Bush.

8. "Not all cultures are equal. Not all values are equal" - Michele Bachmann

9. "I would have voted in favor of the life of Terri Schaivo, she was a woman who was healthy and had brain damage.... from a health point of view, she was not terminally ill" - Michelle Bachmann. Yes, people are indeed laughing at her in the background.

There's some bullshit with poor sound quality about how gay marriage is going to be imposed on Minnesota, etc.. we'll get to that later. To put it succinctly?

Goddamn.. bitch is CRAZY.

I don't know if she's just totally fucking too stupid to know what she's saying, or if she's got someone in her ear telling her what to say and her parroting-skills don't lend themselves well to the improvisational nature of public speaking. I don't know how in the hell she's got as many people in support of her as she does, what with the unfailing knack she has for contradicting herself. She's got a file as long as my arm on PolitiFact.com, which is a non-partisan website that determines fact from fiction when it comes to the talking points and statements of U.S. politicians. Bachmann has actually dipped from the "liar" end of the scale, down to the "pants on fire" end.

Let's go on, shall we? Here's where things get scary as fuck. Currently, Bachmann's digging herself a major hole and is holding onto her (incorrect) position with the tenacity of a pitbull on a t-bone steak.

 During a GOP debate, Bachmann decided to enter a pissing match with opponent Rick Perry over his signing an order for middle school girls to get HPV vaccinations in his home state of Texas. The argument is really based in the fact that the vaccine is meant to guard against Human Papilloma Virus, which is a sexually-transmitted disease that is known to cause cervical cancer. Bachmann decided it would look UBER-CONSERVATIVE of her to take a pot-shot at Perry and call him a bad conservative because, clearly, mandating an order that would protect girls against an STD means that you're installing a neon-sign that reads "OPEN FOR BUSINESS" over their naughty parts. Where she really screwed herself was in her tendency to embellish facts for dramatic effect, and claim that she'd personally met a woman whose daughter had become mentally retarded because of an HPV vaccination. This is a claim that she can't substantiate, nor can she produce the "woman" who told her this tragic tale, oh.. and it's a BIG FUCKING LIE.

What's worse, is that she can't fucking let it go. She's going so far now as to label Perry's Texas vaccine mandate as "Perrycare", so she's got another keyword to harp upon when she goes running off at the mouth about it again.

HPV is often carried by men who aren't routinely tested for the virus, because its usually asymptomatic in males and there are no tests to properly determine HPV in men. Meanwhile, they get tested for other diseases and infections, come up "clear" and give the gift of cervical cancer to women who ALSO won't know about it unless their doctor is one of the few who make such tests a mandatory part of a full gynecological visit. Most of the time, the woman never knows she has it until something goes horribly awry with her pap-smear, in which case she gets brought back for a painful colposcopy. If you're at colposcopy level and pre-cancerous cells are found, you're considered "lucky", because at least you've got a doctor paying attention for cancer to develop in your cervix before it metastasizes like a motherfucker. Did I mention that cancer-causing HPV never goes away, it can be transmitted despite use of condoms, and that it's one of the most prevalent undetected viruses among human beings worldwide?

But despite all of these facts, Bachmann wants to pretend she's protecting innocent virgin girls so that they can save themselves for marriage, like that's going to fucking happen. With the extreme social conservative 100% pro-life stance, the conservative idea that making birth control available turns otherwise "good" girls into bad, and the idea that vaccinations to protect your girly parts will ALSO make you a slut, Bachmann is basically telling girls that sexuality leads to nothing but social ostracism, shame, and potentially, death.

Alex Pareene of Salon.com put it beautifully:

"Conservatives oppose giving girls the HPV vaccine because they want premarital sex to have (potentially deadly) consequences, not because they think vaccines are inherently dangerous."

Sounds about right.

Toward the end of limiting reproductive choice AND health, Michele Bachmann has also been caught in a major lie she told about a Planned Parenthood clinic in Illinois, which she accused of trying to be "Big Abortion. The LensCrafters of Big Abortion". The embedding link for this video on YouTube.com has been "removed by request, and although it wouldn't be any trick to embed it here anyway, I'll just embed a video of a CNN report talking about how LensCrafters was, understandably, pissed off.



As you can see in the video, Bachmann misquoted a Planned Parenthood CEO who ACTUALLY said he wanted Planned Parenthood to "Be the LensCrafters of Family Planning", the term "family planning" encompassing a hell of a lot more than abortion, Bachmann and her flair for embellishment struck yet again, and she had to substitute the term "Big Abortion". LensCrafters was not amused at all by ANY variation on the theme, so long as their brand kept getting put in the middle of it.

But of course, Bachmann isn't done with abortion on that note.. she continues on with the following little gem..



So, that's a long, convoluted "NO" on whether she supports a woman's right to abort under ANY circumstances whatsoever. Note that in the video, she keeps saying that life is a "God-given right from conception to natural death". In case you didn't get it, she says that very statement twice. She also adds that only GOD can give or take life, not government.

Just don't get sick. Or old, for that matter. Then she doesn't want to talk to you. She wants to wean everyone off social security and medicare.

From TalkingPointsMemo.com

"So, what you have to do, is keep faith with the people that are already in the system, that don't have any other options, we have to keep faith with them. But basically what we have to do is wean everybody else off," said Bachmann. "And wean everybody off because we have to take those unfunded net liabilities off our bank sheet, we can't do it. So we just have to be straight with people. So basically, whoever our nominee is, is going to have to have a Glenn Beck chalkboard and explain to everybody this is the way it is."
 
Michele Bachmann is married to Dr. Marcus Bachmann, and together they own and operate Bachmann & Associates, a "Christian Counseling" clinic. Marcus Bachmann is perhaps best known for this bit of insanity, doles out on air during a religious radio talk show..



To clarify, the exact quote is as follows:

“We have to understand: Barbarians need to be educated,” Bachmann says in the clip. “They need to be disciplined. Just because someone feels it or thinks it doesn’t mean that we are supposed to go down that road. That’s what is called the sinful nature. We have a responsibility as parents and as authority figures not to encourage such thoughts and feelings from moving into the action steps. ...

“And let’s face it: what is our culture, what is our public education system doing today? They are giving full, wide-open doors to children, not only giving encouragement to think it but to encourage action steps. That’s why when we understand what truly is the percentage of homosexuals in this country, it is small. But by these open doors, I can see and we are experiencing, that it is starting to increase.” - Dr. Marcus Bachmann
Call me politically incorrect, I don't care. Gay men around the world, YOU KNOW I ADORE YOU.. that said, did you catch the lisp? Here's a better question.. is it possible to miss the lisp? Can you not picture this guy in an ascot, hand on one hip, other hand wagging a finger of judgement atop a wilted wrist in the stereotypical "no no NO, girl!" manner, telling uth people that we jutht don't underthtand theth barbarian gayth!?

If you'd like to use Google to gather an amount of public opinion, all you have to do is enter "bachmann" and "gay" to find multiple web articles, all of which have the same headline..

"Everyone thinks Marcus Bachmann is gay"

To use one variation on a popular theme, Bachmann's so far in the closet he's hiding next year's Christmas presents in the far end of Narnia. Watch (and OMG listen) to this video clip taken of Marcus Bachmann meeting up with his wife in the "green room" at one of her television appearances. The title of this video is "Michele Bachmann's very NOT GAY flaming husband".



I really think the evidence speaks for itself, don't you? Oh you DON'T think so? Well you're just a SILLY, aren't you dear??

I normally don't add parodies or links to satirical items in posts like these, but I can't help it. This is from Second City, and it's to die for, girl!!



On a more serious note, the Bachmann's first denied that their clinic counsels people out of "the homosexual lifestyle", until a member of Truth Wins Out, a group that combats the dangerous practice of what is known as "reparative therapy" went undercover to the clinic to discuss his sexuality with a counselor. This is what he was told..

"Despite the fact that I never once mentioned having insecurities surrounding my own masculinity, Wiertzema took it upon himself to reassure me in our fifth session that “…because you have feelings of homosexuality, [it] doesn’t mean you don’t have masculinity. I’m just gonna go ahead and say that.” I was encouraged to further develop my own sense of masculinity and my personal definition of what it meant to be a man. When I mentioned that I can objectively acknowledge a woman’s beauty without having any sexual feelings toward her whatsoever, I was told that whenever I saw an attractive woman I just needed to reinforce in my mind that she was, indeed, attractive, and that God made her this way and made me to notice her. After all, “God designed our eyes to be attracted to the woman’s body, to be attracted to everything, to be attracted to her breasts.” Further, according to Wiertzema, “We’re all heterosexuals, but we have different challenges.” Attraction to the same sex “is there, and it’s real, but at the core value, in terms of how God created us, we’re all heterosexual.” The full article can be found here.

Did I mention that this clinic, clearly religious in nature, receives state and federal funding? Additionally, a great number of the counselors that practice at the Bachmanns' clinic have "degrees" from Argosy University, which has been sued by multiple students for lack of accreditation despite its promises that the school was in the process of obtaining it. Additionally, if you look up names like "Mike Griffith", and other names of counselors at these clinics on Google, you can find them running a posting campaign of massive proportions on the message board and forum areas of any television network or news website that has featured a story about one or both of the Bachmanns.

Maybe Michele Bachmann is a little bitter about the whole gay thing because of her husbands' nature. Maybe that's what leads her to have opinions like those she shared with Jay Leno.. Note how she tries to play dumb and cute, and Jay doesn't let her off the hook.



Ah.. they "don't discriminate". Cute.

Jay Leno makes another good point about why the TEA party gets itself in the middle of the private lives of Americans. I mentioned this in the last article I wrote about Rick Santorum, how it's fascinating to me that conservatives bandy about the term "Big Government" and how we need to get it out of our lives, yet the first thing they want to do is tell you who you can marry and how often you can have sex. Does it GET more personally invasive than that?

Oh, and she says that she likes Sarah Palin.

Ok, forget the parroting thing I mentioned. She's just a moron.