The Political Bitchslap Everyone Needs - All Parties Included

You know who's at fault for the state of the country? We are.

What the hell are we allowing to pass for "acceptable" out of our representatives and WHY? Are you THAT sad and pathetic that you're going to be content in sighing, shrugging your shoulders, down-talking others who are suffering in a crippled economy JUST LIKE YOU ARE, and assuming there's nothing to do about it?

Stop believing this horseshit that business-like decorum and understatement to the point of silence is good for us, helpful, or a mark of success. People who are representing us in government BETTER be fucking angry and ready to call out bullshit as it comes up, or they are literally nothing but well-dressed mouthpieces for those who want to profit off OUR suffering and need. Those people will NEVER help the rest of us get what we need, because they make far too much money on keeping it from us and giving us empty statements to lead us along. They will throw you a crumb from the big fat cookie that a corporation paid them, and then tell you that its the people suffering NEXT to you who ate the cookie you didn't get. Too many of us are willing to be complicit little assholes and blame that person suffering beside us, while that suited mouthpiece mumbles some more bullshit through his or her cookie-filled mouth.

Own up to it, for fucks sake, or we're all fucking doomed. Own up to how much time you've spent asleep.

Spare me your liberal or conservative sense of moral superiority to others. Shut the fuck up with your constant excuse making that those who are less well-off than you are living like shit because they're not up to your personal ethical standards. Your "moral superiority" doesn't mean jack shit to poverty-stricken children, and if you truly believe it's fine to shrug that off, YOU are probably the strongest arm of the of the many forces that are pushing those children away from good lives. YOU are a willing accomplice to suffering and further deterioration of the American quality of life. YOU are the voter who doesn't want to fucking bother. YOUR apathy is affording the rape and pillage of our nation's culture and well-being and you should be ashamed of yourself.

If your state representatives are sidestepping the point in endless, useless niceties and word salad, vote the them fuck out. Vote them the fuck out at the local, regional, state, and national level. What we thought were good, balanced, savvy politicians have FUCKED us for personal gain and cushy careers in well-paid jobs they barely show up for, while reaping work-offered healthcare, retirement, and sick pay benefits we are also paying for and will never see anything remotely as good offered to us as citizens. What's worse, is that we all truly understand that political figures are, as a rule, full of shit. It's a standard at this point.

Why do we keep voting for them?

If you were too damn cozy in being an uppity ass Democrat to see that it wasn't going to save you, shame on you.

Democrats have been dicking off, totally high on a sense of their own intellectual superiority, to the point that they don't even investigate who's paying their party members and how that could fuck people over. Your supreme Democratic intellect is used against you just as easily as religion is used as a tool to incite conservatives, and you can't sit here and pretend you give a singular rat's ass about the suffering of others if you can't even listen to them speak because they don't meet your personal standards. Poor, uneducated people that aren't as "worldly" as you deserve a living wage and health care as much as your comfortably numb, blue-voting ass does. To think otherwise is to be a bigot. If you think this way, accept that you are a bigot and if you truly believe that bigotry is bad, sort your fucking life out, mate.

If you let your religious preference be pandered to and thought that was just great, shame on you, too.

Republicans have been far too content to put blame their neighbors and in allowing the vanity of having their "personal relationship" with Jesus stroked as hard as any Democratic ego, to the point that no one's acting in any sort of "Christian" manner. Religion, which should be sacred, personal, and a means of self-improvement as a human being, has been made into a freaking circus side-show via which you're sold shoddy garbage, snake oil, and a ringside seat to your own destruction. Guess what? Your Republican representatives don't give a fuck about you or Jesus. Your preoccupation with Jesus just makes you a great big fucking propaganda target and you're letting it happen because you're a chicken shit who wants to be pandered to. Jesus would want the sick healed and for children to eat, from all I've read about the guy. If your representatives aren't putting that first, how the hell are you going to keep allowing them to align themselves with your savior? How are you not OUTRAGED by such blasphemy? You, as well as uppity Democrats who don't care about starving kids from out of work miners in West Virginia (cause fuck those red state people), should be entirely ashamed of yourselves. For people who want to work in the image of their savior to promote family values, you're awfully goddamn okay with little children and new mothers living in abject poverty and suffering. Just because a guy says "I'm all about Jesus" while he pulls the rug out from under families, doesn't mean he's your friend. Wake the fuck UP.

Oh, and independents? Fuck you, too. You're not helping.

You're leaning either right or left in most cases, fanning the flames of anger, and not doing jack shit to help put out the fire. You're decrying the moral decay of politics as you contribute to it on the citizen level, perfectly content to naysay and complain while everyone (including you) is suffering. What party do you belong to? I FORGOT. YOU'RE AN INDEPENDENT SO FUCK EVERYONE AND THEIR PARTY. You're too GOOD for working within the shit-stained political system, even toward the ends of changing and cleaning it up. What mass are you gathering to effect change? OH THAT'S RIGHT. YOU'RE NOT. You're sharing memes about how fucked up everyone else's party is, while you sit cozily in your little bubble, morally superior to us all because you don't see any reason you should have to pick either, corrupt side. The most ambitious among you are still doing nothing but forming utterly doomed little parties with no might behind them, cause most of you have nothing but disdain for every other party (major or minor) that isn't YOUR specific little horseshit party.

Anyone still got a case of the red-ass from 2016? I know I do. We tried all of the above bullshit for this past election, and we're sitting here with a failed Democratic candidate who didn't give enough fucks about her supporters to so much as pretend to care about the issues that most strongly affect them, nor support them when her opponent won. As a result, we are left with a volatile, moody, uninformed jackass for a Republican president, who's as ready to throw everyone under the bus as he is to throw a temper tantrum. The Democrats are too busy feeling sorry for themselves to even acknowledge the obvious progressive route they need to adopt to succeed, and the Republicans are working around the clock to hasten our demise.

We're all fucked and EVERYONE has allowed the worsening quality of American life to happen, to some degree or another. I don't blame anyone for voting any way they voted in 2016, because we were fucked either way. If you're not pissed off at how the primaries played out on EITHER side of the aisle, you haven't learned jack shit and you should review and reflect so that this shit doesn't happen again. Give yourself two or three smacks to your own, smug, stupid, self-satisfied face while you're at it.

You smug fucking Democrats didn't see anything wrong with superdelegates being allowed to choose the winner of the primary in advance of running one, and you should be slapped soundly for thinking that was anything other than corruption, cronyism, and an OBSCENE waste of money to even run a primary in that case. For fucks' sake, just the waste of MONEY alone should make us all furious that the Democrats tilted their primary in one direction, let alone the utter disrespect for all ethics in pretending that the people who support their party had any say in the outcome.

Republicans - since when the fuck was it a "family value" to encourage and cheer on an egomanical bully and praise him for being one? How is the concept of blaming others for your own problems (immigrants, etc) a "pulling oneself up by ones' own bootstraps" mindset?

Independents? You guys suck, too. If you wanted Bernie or Hillary or who the fuck ever, you should have gotten off your uppity asses and made yourself part of the process.

Kudos to all of you who DID try, and tried your fucking hearts out. I know that's why you're so battle-worn and bitter now. I don't blame you. I am just as hurt and angry as you are. You're going to have to drop it, though. We need to keep swimming or we're all going to drown in the aftermath of the 2016 election. Take all that you learned about election laws and rules in your state, dust yourself the fuck off, and get your pissed off asses to work well in advance of 2020, while we have a chance to do something about it.

TRUTH BOMB: sitting around in echo chambers, indulging in "Anti-Trump" OR "Anti-Clinton" circle jerks with each other all day isn't making you guys a movement. It's making your "movement" into a sad pile of angry little bitches who are only going to be angrier when this shit happens again and again. You ARE entirely complicit in the repetition of the 2016 political disaster if all you can do is conduct constant purity tests among one another and repeat things you already know, over and over again.

BONUS TRUTH BOMB: Everyone's getting fucking sick of your bellyaching, including those among you. We all know its getting us nowhere. It's time to shut the fuck up and move.
The sad fact of the matter is that we shouldn't have been so short-sighted, lazy, and apathetic as to allow the kind of choices we were left with at the end. Maybe we're used to it - all the corruption and game-playing to make a few people some cozy lives at the expense of making ours more miserable. Maybe it crept up on us, incrementally. Whatever the case, if we don't pull our collective heads out of our collective asses and DO something radically different from this point, we're even more fucked in the future than we are now.

.. and we're pretty fucked right now, y'all.

Don't sit on your fat, lazy, closed-minded, uneducated voter ass AGAIN and let the damn parties tell you who you're voting for. Get your shit together. Slap yourself in the face and say "I will not be made a bitch of, AGAIN."

Learn when primary dates are. PICK the goddamn delegates, reps, assemblymen, mayors, governors, state house reps, whatever, this time instead of letting the same fat fucks keep the same damn jobs, unopposed, that they've been sitting comfortably in for years. They don't worry about THEIR kids making it through school, and they're damn sure not sending them to school with YOUR kids. They're not worried about dying from a treatable illness. They don't have to. You're paying with your taxes to place them in positions of power and privilege, and you're also paying for your own family to wither away while these representatives you're supporting live fabulous lives on your dime.

"But I don't like the Democratic party" "Fuck the Dems, they're too corrupt" "Fuck the two party system!" "WE NEED A THIRD PARTY! I'll INVENT ONE AND YOU SHOULD ALL JOIN IT"

Well guess what, kids? The two-party system has all of us by the short and curlies and there isn't a goddamn thing any of your whining, foot-stamping, or going home with your panties in a fucking wad is going to do about it unless you're willing to get your hands (and soul) a little dirty and start getting in the right place to be plucking the con-artists out of these parties. That means you're going to have to be able to belong to them in order to have a vote.

If you think you lean more left - well guess what that means, sweetheart? I think you know the answer to that. Same goes for if you lean right. I don't care what you join. I don't care if you go Green or independent, but if you do, please stop bellyaching to the rest of us about your moral superiority when your effort inevitably fails because of a lack of numbers, electoral access, and the zombie-like mass of party loyalist voters who will always vote for whoever Team Blue or Red picks for them.

We can't fix stupid. We can't fix lazy. We can't make people want to think or grow a spine and enforce change. They'll just suffer on and whine and cry and do the same goddamn thing they always do - vote in larger elections where all the movers and shakers have already been picked for them, and then actually feel like they fucking did something by merely showing the fuck up and voting. We can't fix everyone and snap them out of the political apathy that is prevalent in our depressed society. Making fun of them isn't fixing shit, either.

Sad as it is, there will always likely be more of the party loyalists than independent thinkers. It is the responsibility of the independent thinking, hard-working, cunning progressives to get our candidates lined up in whatever party we can, to ensure that the average mindless voter mass is of some actual use to progressive causes. We can't make them NOT vote blue or red. We CAN make sure that whoever falls under the blue or red banner isn't another fucking jackass in a suit, ready to make money on the average citizen's suffering.

If you genuinely want to effect change, stop being a fucking crybaby and get in there and demand it. Get your equally woke buddies to do the same. GO TO WAR with the two parties who have the power and run for offices held by corporatist salesman who DON'T GIVE A FUCK ABOUT THE PEOPLE THEY REPRESENT. If they don't give a fuck about us, we need to actively mount a hostile takeover and throw them the hell out of those seats.

Stop with this pointless repetition of cursing out the parties, or pretending that the two parties are evil incarnate by their very names. That's pathetically superstitious and ignorant. The parties are the structures that have the power. There is every reason for them to strangle out independents and third parties, and no reason whatsoever for them to give up a single inch of the power they possess. Teams Red AND Blue will maintain this stranglehold if we don't get very hostile, very direct, and take that power for ourselves.

WHY THE FUCK DO YOU THINK BERNIE SANDERS DIDN'T WASTE HIS AND HIS FOLLOWERS PRECIOUS TIME BY GOING OUT TO FAIL MARVELOUSLY AS A HOPELESS INDEPENDENT?

He put himself in a position to KEEP swinging. He's not sitting on Facebook, sucking up the adoration of his many followers, bellowing endlessly about how he was cheated. He WAS cheated.

If anyone has a reason to bitch, it's Bernie Sanders.

Is Bernie being a little bitch?

Fuck no, he isn't. He's out there working himself sick trying to represent you.

If you're not supporting that effort, then YOU are being a little bitch. Not Bernie.

Stop being a little bitch. Start being a fucking warrior.

These two parties are not going to be overtaken by a bunch of protesting, angry goddamn hippies and weeping millenials (not that we all don't have a lot of shit to rightfully, angrily weep and protest over). They are two, ready-to-use power structures. NOTHING MORE. The people IN those power structures are abusing them for their own ends.

I think the solution to that is pretty obvious.

Get rid of those people.

Stop being a pussy and stand up to them. Put them out. Put new people in. Take that house over for the people. Don't sit here and wave your typing-fist at me and do nothing but complain. You're as much a part of the problem as the blind party loyalists you rail on endlessly about.

"But what of experience and time served in politics? Won't putting new people in with less experience hurt us?"

I don't know. What are "experienced" politicians doing for any of us right now?

I'll wait.

The Feminine Context

Sarcasm FTW! "Rape Prevention" PSA Kicks Serious Ass

TFC heartily approves this message, brought to you byAll India Bakchod kicks rape culture norms in the ass and out in the open for all to see. Good work, y'all!

Direct link here: "It's Your Fault"
The Feminine Context

By Request Of Readers - The Feminine Context for Kindle!

Yes, I was asked to do this. I figure, what the hell? Might reach some pissy broads like myself who are extra pissy because they're short on time to access the internet.

Enjoy, Kindlers!

The Feminine Context

Saga Of The Sodden Stay-At-Home Moms

This is an actual facebook conversation, saved, names and identities removed. These are women whose "job" within the structure of their family is to stay home and care for their children. I seriously doubt their husbands get to drink at THEIR jobs.

I am a stay at home mother with about a billion other irons in the fire from working online, and somehow, it never occurs to me to get trashed while my child is under my care. I posted a bit about this phenomena HERE and HERE, and every time I think I was being unreasonable, I see something else that makes my stomach turn.

I hate to think of what these women would have to say about babysitters or teachers or childcare workers who drank "socially" or to "relax" while at their jobs. So what makes it different when the drinking is done by mom at home? Why is it "cute" because they're saying "glass of wine"? What if they said "Jack& Coke" or "Jello Shots"? It's the same thing except the public idea is that jello shots are stronger, so more caution might be taken when it came to pounding em down. I sincerely doubt anyone would find it remotely classy that women who don't work and bring in an income for the family are watching their kids hammered on whiskey or vodka, but somehow when it's wine, it's suburban chic?

Are we actually lamenting the fact that no one can get away with popping Valium like its candy? While caring for children?

The Feminine Context

Occupy Humanity: Can Empathy Be Saved?

Like most Americans these days, I have worked a variety of jobs over the years. Somehow I have managed to maintain a common thread of occupational skills between jobs, because almost all of the positions I've held have been associated with caregiving. Each new employer could look back on my resume and see that I had been charged with the responsibility of caring for living beings that whose very survival depended on me in one way or another. Whether I cared for children, older adults, disabled persons, or animals, the rules are pretty much the same.

No matter who or what you are responsible for, you must treat them with respect and attempt to maintain the dignity and comfort of that individual. I don't care if you're caring for a sick, aggressive pitbull, or a sick, aggressive older man with dementia; you keep BOTH your prejudice AND "values" the hell out of the room and treat either scenario with the same amount of respect and concern. If you think you can treat either the dog or the man with less respect than the other, then you obviously have no business caring for the one who (due to your bias) receives less of your respect. When it comes to caring for that other living person, their rights are up there nearer to the ceiling, whereas yours are somewhere down below the sewer lines.

That's not an exaggeration or veiled complaint. It has to be that way. Placing the utmost emphasis on the needs of the being who is dependent on you is the only way to ensure that you meet those needs appropriately. Working within this structure of "them before us" prevents neglect, and oddly enough, high turnover of caregiver employees. If you can complete the tasks necessary for your job, do them correctly, and adhere to the standards expected from someone in your particular position, it's a lot easier to "leave it at work" and feel good about what you've done. Those who can achieve some level of "job satisfaction" are a lot more likely to remain in their line of work.

Certain things really came into focus for me when I became certified as a nurse aide. I decided that I eventually wanted to become a registered nurse. Having researched the field of nursing, I became aware that in a hospital or nursing home, nurse aides perform basic nursing tasks under the direction of registered nurses. RNs have more education and authority than nurse aides, and are paid better because of it. It makes no sense from a financial standpoint to pay for a floor's worth of RNs when you can pay a few of them to supervise a team of aides who are trained for basic nursing tasks. I got that part. What I didn't understand is how anyone thought they could be a good supervisor when they'd never done the actual job of the person below them. Thus, I decided to learn the "grunt work" and become a certified aide. I figured if I could get through physically challenging part of nursing, I could get through the academic parts a lot easier, PLUS I'd be a much more effective supervisory nurse than one who'd never had to work as an aide.

I realize now that I had identified a need to develop empathy.

At the time, I just figured it would be in my best interest to be prepared, and that the discipline of learning the job that "real nurses" didn't want to do could only help me in my studies later on. In retrospect, I think there was some part of me that wasn't quite "ripe" yet, and even then, young and stupid, I knew it. I was trying to develop a part of me that could extend the necessity of my career beyond simply meeting my own needs. An ever nagging, "pragmatic" part of me kept whispering in the background, "This is a waste of time. You're practically a straight-a student and you're dicking around with this diploma when you could be putting time into a degree". The "pragmatic" voices outside of my head, namely two friends who were (respectively) a dentist and a doctor, were both pretty busy calling me a fool for not pursuing a degree that would lead me to medical school. They treated my decision to become a nurse like a mental illness, or some sort of self-destructive habit. Upon finding out that I had chosen to first become a nurse aide and not even a full nurse, they began avoiding me whenever possible. My dad, who I'm sure wanted nothing but the best for me, wanted me to do something with my mad computer skills, but the idea of sitting on my ass working in an office (and the few times I had done so) made me sick. Sometimes I wonder if he didn't get some sort of 1980's power-suit idea in his head, and likened that and the presumably accompanying business/marketing/information technology degree to "success". In short, the thought of me changing bedpans seemed to make him feel like I was pursuing a diploma program as a scullery-maid, or worse, scullery-maid trainee. He thought it was "beneath" my capabilities, which didn't exactly make me feel great about my chosen career when things were tough. I took a little bittersweet solace in the fact that almost every one of my friends who had gotten degrees in those aforementioned fields had ended up working jobs in coffee houses or in offices that I, without a degree of that kind, could easily talk my way into. Even though I felt bad for my friends, whose own dads had clearly won the day, at least I knew I'd have a job eventually taking CARE of their dads.

I think it's kind of funny, in a dry sort of way, to recall that all the disapproving people in my life were politically conservative. I'll get back to that in a moment, though.

During the course of my later work in elder care, I realized that by putting my opinions and feelings on hold while I was on duty, I was actually able to not only do my job, but thrive in it. I've met a lot of "retired" CNAs who are working in other fields, usually due to their decision that caregiving work was "too depressing" for them. It's not like these women are making any more money than they were as aides, but the idea of being around people who were either actively dying or just irreversibly on their way to death, was more than they could bear. I had been taught a lot in my courses and a few rules still stick out, even after all the time that's passed between then and now. Notably..

1 - Certain things are never to be brought in to your working hours with someone you are taking care of, specifically your germs and bacteria, your negative emotions, your religion (or lack thereof), your political opinions, and details of your personal life.

2 - Certain things are never to be brought out from your working hours with someone you are taking care of, such as their germs and bacteria, their negative emotions, their religion (or lack thereof), their political opinions, and details of their personal life.

3 - Thou shalt never violate, and always remain alert and in timely practice of the laws of the land. It is your place to adhere to them, not bend, alter, or disrespect them. In remaining vigilant in adherence to legal and ethical standards, the client and caregiver shall both be protected.

4 - Lots of things are simply none of your business. No, really, most things are none of your business. That doesn't mean you get to be snippy and make a comment, gesture, or other flippant, passive-aggressive action that indicates your opinion while somewhat satisfying the job requirement that makes this issue none of your business. If you cannot work with someone without making things your business that shouldn't BE your business, you should call your agency, explain YOUR failing, and ask to be assigned elsewhere (if they still want someone like you to work for them).

5 - It IS your business to care enough about the things that are important to your client (religion, politics, family) to listen, learn, and be able to carry on a conversation that addresses THEIR need for camaraderie, NOT YOURS. If it has to be an act, be Oscar-worthy for it.

6 - If you are treated unkindly or with disrespect, you are never to respond in kind. It is your place to avoid those sorts of outbursts. If your client is too hostile and you cannot seem to resolve the issue OR work with it anymore, contact your supervisor for advice or another assignment. Additionally, consider another line of work. Clearly, something about you that you cannot help is too agitating to your client for you to remain caring for them, OR you're not adhering to rule #1, and/or #2.

These rules are probably read as simply "common sense", but when they have to be put into practice, one finds that most people don't have the discipline to follow them. Worse still, most people do not possess the empathy needed to obviate the need for discipline. If you can empathize with others as well as you need to in order to take full care of another living thing, then it shouldn't be so difficult that you NEED strong discipline to adhere to these fairly simple rules. If this empathy is what it takes to look after someone as their caregiver, then it is reasonable to assume that other positions of authority require the same. In fact, these rules could very easily apply to occupations like teacher, policeman, doctor..

.. politician.

It's really starting to concern me as I watch the ability to empathize, a necessary skill for those in a position of authority or as a representative of others, is not only difficult to discover in our "leaders", it is now something that some of us are beginning to treat with derision. The current crop of hopefuls for the GOP nomination are promoting the poorer sides of human nature to such an extent that public displays of it are not only being accepted, they are being celebrated. Public displays like booing our soldiers for asking questions that someone doesn't want to answer, laughing at the idea of someone dying due to lack of medical treatment, and making rape victims legally and permanently responsible for the ramifications of their attackers actions. Since when did our public opinion change from "Oh how awful, we can't let that happen if we can help it" to "serves them right"?

The "53%" rails against those who "don't pay taxes" because they're old and retired or they are literally so poor that they wouldn't survive if they did pay taxes on the mere pittance they make. The "53%" forget sales tax, payroll tax, and property taxes that everyone pays. Tax refunds are NOT "free money". Tax refunds are exactly that, a refund, of money that very poor people had ripped out of their paychecks over the year, causing strain and hardship to the family hanging on tooth and nail for that paycheck. Worse still, the "53%" have been so indoctrinated with hate, fear, and anger directed at their "opposition", they won't even stop and look at the fact that they are essentially fighting for the right to live a way that THEY don't even want to.

Empathy is defined as "the ability to understand and share the feelings of another", which is something that politicians typically make grand attempts to feign, if nothing else. Historically, this has been done because the ability to empathize is typically demonstrated in those people we feel to be the "best" of us. Empathy is the reason your mother knew why you were sad, even when you didn't. It's why she still hugged you and loved you, even when you knowingly broke her rules. Empathy is the reason your friends call, make efforts to comfort, and listen to you cry when they never liked the stupid boyfriend who ended up breaking your heart exactly the way they KNEW he would. Empathy is the reason the best of your friends don't start off with "I told you so".

A massive load of "us against them" is being heaved upon our society, and the core premise is that the dirty, unwashed "them" is stealing undeserved resources from the noble, moral pockets of "us". Through misdirection of fear and anxiety, some (like the" 53%") are blinded to the fact that there's an effort to divide the ACTUAL "us", and apparently it's working. The truth is that there's only about 1% of "them", and they're doing all they can to bleed "us" dry and cast us into a million tiny factions until we don't recognize anyone else as one of "us". Worse still, "they" are claiming to be devout followers of Christianity, which requires empathy and love for others. "They" profess faith in an effort to make themselves appear moral, ethical, and inarguable. Real "faith" dictates that charity, tolerance, love, and concern for others is what makes you a morally upright human in the eyes of your God. Clearly "they" have no faith whatsoever in God, or they would trust that He would do His works and that their micromanagerial efforts here on Earth were not only unnecessary, but possibly an affront to Him.

With a bit of empathy for those that share your humanity, it's not hard to see that most of "us" are all suffering under the same tyranny brought about by just a few of "them".

The Feminine Context

Occupy Together: Sad Paper Airplanes Don't Cost Postage

On October 28th, members of the Occupy Wall Street movement marched through Manhattan to the headquarters of many major banks, including Morgan Stanley, Citigroup, Bank Of America, JP Morgan Chase, and Well Fargo. Assembling outside the entrances to these banks, the OWS protesters threw paper airplanes made of folded up letters from members of the "99 percent". These letters had been written to banking executives and published to the website "OccupyTheBoardroom.com".

Now, personally.. I kinda dig the whole OccupyTheBoardroom thing. Here's a description, in their own words.

"Life gets awfully lonely for those at the top. What can we do to let them know someone's thinking of them? Maybe they need some new friends! We've thought of two ways we can help them with that.

Option 1: Pen Pals
Make your voice heard by the Wall Street elites who wrecked the economy and made the rest of us pay. Click on someone below and tell them a story that you think they should listen to. Just got a college degree and nothing to show for it? Just got evicted while your banker gets bonuses? Share your special story with someone who ought to know.

Option 2: Best Friends Forever
If you're feeling even more generous, why not reach out in a more creative way? Click on a banker below, then read the instructions and examples to get inspired. Maybe your banker needs some kind words, or maybe an intervention. Most importantly, use your imagination! The best, funniest, most revelatory interactions win prizes."

Now that's some old-school-meets-new-tech, good vibes, sarcastic American protesting. That warms me to the cockles of my heart. Maybe the sub-cockular area as well. Either way, I freakin' love it.

When you fold that shit up into a paper airplane, tossing it limp-wristed into the air to watch it nosedive onto the sidewalk... well, shit. How do I put this? This paper airplane gig leaves me cold. It kinda puts the "pussy" in "pusillanimous".

I'm sorry. I'm all for peaceful protesting, but the paper airplane thing looked sad and pitiful. It looked like a bunch of little birds dropping dead at the doorstep. On a purely visual level, to me it made the 99-percent look as weak and fragile as those paper airplanes that no one apparently knew how to fold in such a ways as to make them fly. Don't know what I'm talking about? Watch it for yourself by clicking here. Set it to a string quartet composition in a minor key, and it'll be the most depressing eighteen seconds ever filmed.



In what I can only surmise is a direct response to the sad paper airplane display, YouTube user RansackedRoom gives us THIS.


Our clever friend here has devised a lovely form of protest utilizing the junk mail that people receive every day from banking corporations. His suggestion is to take all of the credit card (and other banking product) offers received in the mail, and simply MAIL THEM BACK, using the postage-paid envelope that the banking corporation has so generously enclosed.

Don't stop there! He also recommends that while you add an insert of your own to indicate your support of the Occupy Movement, that you also enclose ALL your excess junk mail. Why? Well to drive up the postage cost to the bank, of course! For extra points, why not add a small piece of wood or roofing shingle? This will not only make the envelope heavy enough to count for extra postage, it will also make the envelope RIGID, which equals to an ADDITIONAL postage cost.

Sorry, but if I want to make an impact with a peaceful protest involving paper, I'd rather send a roofing shingle, an OWS-themed note, and a firm NO THANK YOU written on the offer sent to me by the bank, than to throw some dumbass paper airplane at a door. Besides, this also makes for a "greener" protest. RansackedRoom's method involves recycling materials that you would have only thrown away, and reusing them for a purpose.

Enjoy! I'm going to go start collecting flat, heavy things. Right after I check my mail.

If anyone's interested, RansackedRoom can be found on Twitter by clicking on this link.


The Feminine Context

Topeka, Kansas. America's #1 Bitch-Slapping City

A budget war in Kansas between the city of Topeka and Shawnee County has resulted in city officials making good on a threat they'd issued in an effort to try and get their way. Because Topeka's leaders don't want to get stuck with the bill for arrests, jailing, and prosecution of misdemeanor cases, a law has been repealed and those suspects previously arrested on misdemeanor charges (over half of whom were suspects in domestic violence cases) are being set free without charges.

Many states are committed to jailing individuals who are arrested for domestic violence, and even when they are released they are often let go under "no contact" orders in the interest of protecting victims. A great number, if not most states, do not allow for victims to drop charges, instead taking the authoritative role and pressing charges against the accused as the state itself. This is ALSO done for the protection of the victim.

Domestic violence is a crime of arranged opportunity, for lack of a better description. Violence in these cases is most often precipitated by long periods of abusing the victim in ways that demoralize, isolate, and demean. By way of methods that slowly alter the perception of reality of both the victim and the abuser, an opportunity to control and perpetrate violence toward the victim is afforded to the abuser. In turn, the codependency of the relationship between the abuser and the victim sends BOTH PARTIES spiralling into a dangerous living situation that can result in long-term damage to their emotional and mental well-being, if not a deadly outcome for one or both of them. The most painful yet helpful method of breaking this cycle is to separate the abuser and the abused for some period of time, if not permanently. Unfortunately, the secrecy due to shame and guilt on the part of both parties makes it often NECESSARY that law enforcement intervene.

Often, the abuser has gone so long unchecked by anyone, that they bear very strong opinions and often feel persecuted themselves due to the power-imbalance that has existed in their homes for far too long. An abuser KNOWS their actions are incorrect, and the guilt often causes their reactions to conflict to become MORE excessively violent and paranoid as they develop exaggerated defense mechanisms. The abuser's guilt mounts, and s/he seeks to justify their actions by seeing a threat or insult in almost everything the victim does. The fear of exposure for their mounting misbehavior grows more intense as time goes on, making them, paranoid, jumpy, hyper-aggressive, and the abuser will sometimes turn to drugs or alcohol to cope, leaving them now mentally imbalanced AND inebriated.

The victim of the abused usually begins accepting and tolerating the abuser's behavior out of a place of love and concern. Excuses are made for their loved one's abuse, such as "He's under stress", or when things begin to escalate further, "He's not well. I can't leave someone who's sick or having a problem. If I stick it out, I can help them". Domestic abuse suffered as children translates into a higher tolerance for it in an adult relationship. For example, if your father was abusive, to condemn or judge your partner unworthy for engaging in the same actions your father did, means to some degree that you are also condemning the father that you know, love, and accept. The abuser will shift blame to the victim when he is wrong, just as most people shift blame (when remotely possible) when they are wrong.  Before it becomes a physically or sexually violent relationship, the abused person has most often become conditioned by the hostile environment to the extent that they may feel they deserve the abuse or that it's "not that bad". As the abuse escalates, so increases the victims' likelihood to excuse or rationalize it.

This is why law enforcement is SUPPOSED to step in and separate the victim from the abuser. The two parties have become so adept at and codependent in rationalizing horrendous behaviors and a lifestyle that emotionally healthy people would find abnormal and alarming, that they literally need to be forced apart before death or major physical injury occurs (or occurs AGAIN). Both the victim and the abuser are so isolated from healthy relationships, that they will seek to cling to each other AND their unhealthy lifestyle because everything outside of it has become foreign and terrifying.

That's why states and cities have to protect the victim long enough that some mental and emotional clarity can be found, and a healthy decision about the relationship can be reached. This protects not only the victim, but the ABUSER. If the abuser is not stopped, held, and given adequate time to collect him/herself, the anger at being exposed and challenged may often be enough to result in a murder, suicide, or both. Its not uncommon for abused persons to feel wracked with guilt over asking for help and getting their abusers into trouble. Remember, over time, the victim comes to see the abuser as the central figure in their whole world, and maybe the only person they have had to even talk to in a long time. Remove that from someone's life abruptly, and it's going to be like losing a limb.

This might not be a popular opinion, but there is something to be said for protecting the abuser as well as the victim. The person who abuses another is still someone's child, brother, relative, or most likely the much-loved partner of the very person that domestic violence laws are enforced to protect; the victim. There's no EXCUSE for abusing another person, but there should be an expectation that the abuser is not playing with a full deck if they've managed to convince themselves that what they are doing is justifiable. That in mind, this isn't someone you can turn loose, expecting them to make appropriate decisions without any chance to get their heads straight.

Someone who gets caught committing an act of physical injury to someone they live and share a life with needs to be punished for it, certainly. What's the purpose of punishment, though? Are we, as a society, about causing harm for harm, or are our punishments going to be enacted in a more thoughtful way as to try and rectify the problem that eventually warranted punishment? Forcing an accused abuser to spend a night in jail and calm down doesn't hurt them. Sure, it's embarrassing and it can probably make them more angry, but that's what that whole aforementioned "no contact" order is for.. so that the angry person cannot go an exact revenge upon someone who they blame for their embarrassment and anger. It's also to allow that person a chance AWAY from the individual who, in their altered viewpoint, they see as responsible for causing them so much anguish.

It's a win-win to enforce these laws for both parties, abused and abuser, even though at the time that the situation comes to a head and law enforcement has to become involved, everyone (victim included) is going to feel violated, exposed, hurt, and desperate. Sometimes you just have to rip off the bandage if you want a wound to heal, rather than leaving it covered and festering. In most (if not all) states that STATE charges are brought against an accused abuser, pre-trial intervention (PTI) programs are offered for first time offenders. This program requires offenders to plead "no-contest" and agree to random drug screenings, counseling and anger management classes, and some amount of community service. This is offered as an alternative to trial, jail time, and fines. PTI programs, when completed successfully, also allow most offenders an opportunity to get their offense eventually expunged from public record.

But if the state, city, or county can't be bothered to maintain enforcement of laws to properly handle domestic abusers and their victims, who is anyone supposed to call for help? I sincerely doubt that police would let a relative off the hook for enforcing "vigilante justice" (potentially at the barrel-end of a shotgun) to protect a loved one. So where are abused persons in Topeka going to go for help?

PSA:

If you believe that you or a loved one may be suffering in an abusive relationship, take a look at this site for a start.

LoveIsRespect.Org

Update on Chaz Bono. One Hot Samba!

I think Chaz really came into his own here, and I'm so proud of this guy it made me cry..



Direct link to this video can be found HERE.

This footwork is awesome, the attitude is awesome, and for someone who describes themselves as as a writer and activist, I don't think that any better favor could have been done for transgendered people than to see a healthy minded transgendered man like Chaz go out, have a great time, and do as well as he has.

The secret? Transgendered people are no LONGER a secret. It's common discussion, no great mysteries, and thus.. no big deal.

Kudos, Chaz. Wish I could cut a rug with ya!

Breast Cancer Awareness Never Looked So Good

Although a recent PSA on testicular self-checks is most DEFINITELY my favorite, this is fairly awesome...

The 6 Worst Types Of Facebook Friends

For your amusement, six types of Facebook posters that are probably ruining your friends feed as we speak...


The Incessant Emo (IE)

Everyone has at least one or more of these among their friends. They never have anything pleasant to say. Now, it's not a requirement for me that my Facebook buddies fart rainbows and shit sunshine all day, every day. People normally have good days and bad days. That's fine. The Incessant Emo ONLY has bad days, and has an arsenal of depressing, maudlin, sullen comments to bomb your friends feed with, effectively commemorating every sad moment in their miserable existence. Does this look familiar to you?

Whiny McSadPants: you’re nothing more than my favorite scar - 6 hours ago

Whiny McSadPants: i’m just going to let my silence speak for itself and hope you hear it - 5 hours ago

Whiny McSadPants: i know when im being ignored. - 4 hours ago

Whiny McSadPants: omg i soooo don't need this. work can suck my balls. im calling in again - 3 hours ago

Whiny McSadPants: i need a new job. apparently my old one doesn't recognize depression as an illness. - 2 hours ago

This asshole can't write his way out of an old paper bag with a machete-tipped pen, but I can guarantee you that he's got a journal of "deep thoughts" hidden away somewhere. Probably under his bed, which is, by his own admission(s), is the loneliest place on Isolation Street. If it's not that his girlfriend left him, its that he had to work and missed the midnight showing of "Twilight" and that's how chronically unfair life is to him. When the Incessant Emo ISN'T just whining at random, he has other bad social networking habits with which he will annoy you. Typical IE behaviors include:

- Posting "ironic" graphics. These are often blurry and/or black and white images of people with bad haircuts/piercing choices, looking angry, cold, hungry, sad, or maybe about to hurt themselves with sharp objects. Sometimes it's just a high-def black and white photo OF an object people are known to self-injure with (usually razor blades, but maybe pills or alcohol). The pictures usually have some short text emblazoned upon them, often mispelled, making what was supposed to be an edgy, dark statement into this afternoon's source of point-and-laugh hilarity.

- Posts that are intended to sound like a threat of self-injury or suicide. This are surefire attention-grabbers for people who haven't learned that it's better for everyone to IGNORE them. If you're actually concerned, it's better to send a private message in reply, than to open the big can of pity worms that's ready spring at the press of a "reply" button.

- Posts that link to music videos by bands you've barely heard of. Most of them sound exactly alike.
Not only does he pollute your friends list with his melodramatic outcries for attention, he has a tendency to hijack other people's POSITIVE news with his trademark patheticisms. Sure, when your baby was born he said "congrats", but then immediately updated his own status to something about being alone and how awful the world is.

If they're not "lifestyle emo", then there may be hope that this person will get the fuck over it in a few weeks/months. Otherwise, you're better off deleting some of the unyeilding negativity that's going to continue to flood your Facebook feed for all of eternity, or at least until their mom stops paying for their internet access.

The Edgy Activist (EA)

Your typical EA is either a college student, an adult (often male) over 40, or a stay-at-home mom. These are the people you friend on Facebook because you know them from "around" and a few posted infographics later, you can't help but regret your attempt to be sociable. EAs on my friends list have posted some of the dumbest, most short-sighted, and OFFENSIVE statements I have ever heard, and for me, that's saying something. I've had the entire goddamn internet at my disposal since I was seventeen years old.

I'm one of those crazy liberals, so most of that kind of propaganda doesn't bother or offend me. If anything, I find posts that are in support of gay marriage and women's reproductive rights to be enlightening or amusing, depending on how they are presented. That's not just because I'm a liberal, though. Most of THOSE posts are fairly positive and humorous in nature, trying to make light of a controversial situation.

What I just cannot force myself to get behind are the downright offensive statements that I see circulating about conservative opinions. Sometimes, I don't understand how I got to be friends with people who will post outright intolerance. I'm sure my conservative friends feel the same way about me, and I'm also sure that everyone ends up acting like a EA over some issue or another. The trick is to keep it to a limit. If that's ALL you end up posting about, you're gonna end up getting blocked.

The Mommy Monster (MM)

I'm guilty of being an MM, and most women who've had a baby have gone a bit MM at first. When you HAVE a baby, that baby becomes your whole entire world for a while. It's NORMAL, and it's part of being a good mom. I actually have to wonder about you if your Facebook posts are NOT baby-centered after just having one, it's only natural after going through pregnancy and delivering that baby for a person to want to SHOW that baby and talk about it all the time. I mean, damn, there's NOTHING that most women are more proud of than the beautiful, tiny little human who's so perfect.. aww!!!

That being said, there's a point where you need to calm down a bit.

It's not really the excited mother's posts about her own baby, its the ones about everyone ELSE'S babies. Nothing is worse than the mother who's discovered that her mothering-style is working SO WELL for her new little family, that she now believes its the only way to parent any child, anywhere. In fact, she's so convinced that she knows the way, she has no problem telling all the OTHER parents how to do their jobs better. It's not always a direct order, sometimes she tries the blatantly obvious passive-aggressive route. The MM will wait til another mom posts about her child's allergies, and then make a post about how she's SO glad the SHE chose breastfeeding because it helps to prevent allergies in the future. It's not that the MM's post is incorrect, breastfeeding DOES help prevent allergies and it is the best choice for babies. It's that this particular pro-breastfeeding post came POINTEDLY no less than 45 seconds AFTER the other mother shared her child's allergy story. It's a direct "this is why I'm a BETTER MOMMY THAN YOU" post, and it's a bitch move.

Come on, ladies. Let's try to be good mommies by setting a good example about being supportive and not COMPETITIVE with our friends. You kinda lose some "AWESOME MOM" points if you attempted to boost them by being a BITCH.

The Overgrown Adolescent (OA)

I can make an educated guess here that maybe 70-85% of your friends feed is littered with posts from these bastards, at any given time of the day. You've probably just come home from your job, where you busted your ass for eight hours or more trying to make enough to pay at least a few of your bills, and you open Facebook to see some horseshit like this:

Overgrown Adolescent: OMG. OMG. OMG. Me and Dumbass ClothesWhore need to go shopping!!!! - 6 hours ago

Dumbass ClothesWhore: We need to get tans first! did u see my sisters white-ass legs?? - 6 hours ago

Overgrown Adolescent: ikr?? shes in college and has her own place and a job. like, wtf can't she get a freakin spray-on or something? - 5 hours ago

Dumbass ClothesWhore: don't worry about it. she is like, the death of fun. shes in some boring ass science major so shes probably like, the only woman around. i guess she doesn't have to try around those geeks. - 5 hours ago

Overgrown Adolescent: i can't wait to get to the mall!! my dads all on my ass about getting a job and i told him that i cant afford to get my car fixed. u pick me up right? - 4 hours ago

Dumbass ClothesWhore: o ya.. i got my moms. my sister got it fixed! :DDDDD - 4 hours ago

Overgrown Adolescent: yay!!!!! now we can have our 27th b-day parties together at La Cantina! TEQUILA! - 3 hours ago

You see where this is going, don't you? There you are, tired as hell, with real issues of your own to deal with. You look on your Facebook to see how your mom is doing, or check in on a friend who's been having a rough time with her sick husband, and here is a whole conversation between two worthless bitches about wasting money and other people's time on STUPID BULLSHIT. It's one thing to live at home with reduced responsibility because you're in a jam. It's a whole other level of childishness to live at home and waste what money you can get together pretending that you're one of the fucking Kardashians. Worse still, making a point of putting down people who ARE working to handle REAL problems just lets everyone know that you're a walking waste of your parents time. It's better to cut these people off your list before you end up bashing your own head into your monitor in rage.

The Bitter Divorcee' (BD)

Well, no one can jump on this person's ass too hard. Most likely, their ex has probably done a hell of a job already.

Let's just be honest, this person is just like a terrible car wreck you pass on your way to work. It's awful, and it's scary, and it's upsetting to see, but still.. you can't turn away and not look at it. Watching a breakup occurring between two parties on Facebook is even worse. You may give yourself an internal talking-to about how you shouldn't pay it so much attention, and how awful it must be for both of them. No matter how much you hate yourself for it, you can't ignore it. This is the entire basis for reality television. People are nosy and are compelled to observe tragedy, and personal tragedy is even MORE compelling because its something people are usually trying to cover up.

After someone loses a lover, by any means, its like a limb has been ripped off. Except, they feel socially compelled to pretend it was never anything that they needed (like a limb), and to keep walking along (minus that limb they've become accustomed to) like everything is not only OKAY, but BETTER without it. It's a long process to get over that kind of emotional amputation, and during that process, your friends are going to see the pain no matter how hard you try and hide it. If anything, its worse when you do try to pretend that you're "fine". It's a seeping wound that's going to take a long time to heal, and there's nothing you can do but wait it out.

Why is WHY you shouldn't share posts about how much you're hurting with anyone but people that you can TRUST to handle it. Otherwise, you're running the risk of a flame war started by someone who doesn't know or care enough about you to be sensitive to your condition. Then your friends are going to have to get involved and back you up. More ugliness in the world develops out of breakups than anywhere else, and Facebook is like a petri dish for cultivating interpersonal problems.

The E-Culture Ignoramus (ECI)

I almost titled this one "The Geriatric", which isn't actually fair. I know quite a few geriatric people who are way more technologically advanced than some younger Facebook users. It's true that most ECI's are older, often someone's parents or grandparents, and aren't so much annoying, as they are totally and unintentionally fucking hilarious.

ECIs are mostly new to the internet, or will appear that way forever, coming from a background that doesn't value sarcasm as highly as the majority of internet users seem to. If they did, they would think about what dirty jokes or double-entendres or culture references could be drawn from the words they post, before they post them. If they were even slightly near the edge of average internet humor, they would at least understand the replies they're getting on the seemingly innocuous post they left on Facebook. This does NOT just occur on Facebook, but it's one of the many places it does show up. Here's a good example..


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.............. and the entire internet snickers with glee.
How about this one?

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I heard another story from a friend who's mom thought "LOL" meant "Lots of love". This resulted in her sending him a text message one day that read "Gramma died lol"
Of course, as bad as this might sound, nothing is worse than parents who actually do know how to post, but don't really have any sense of "netiquitte". Or plain don't give a fuck about it....


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It's always funny til it's YOUR mom...

3 "Healthy Eating" Trends That Are Usually Anything But

I'm not skinny. I'm not morbidly obese, either. I think I'm a fairly average weight for an American woman in her 30's, but no one's ever really happy with their weight. Sometimes I think I'd like to be able to fit into a ridiculously tiny dress that wouldn't really look good on most people, just as much as the next 30+ year old woman would, but I'm not so obsessed with being thin that I'm going to do some drastic shit that's going to endanger my health. If you have a problem with the size of my ass, then that's entirely YOUR problem. Personally, I have a few things I prioritize a bit higher than what you or anyone else might think of my "bountifulness".

That's me, though. I know that it bothers a lot of people to gain a size or two. Although I can understand the desire to lose weight, I really think that desire becomes more of a psychosis when it leads someone to not only curb their intake of food, but to convince themselves that a dramatic lifestyle change is "healthy". What's more, people in this state of mind will not only go to ridiculous lengths to adhere to this supposedly healthy diet, they'll also become so devoted to it that they believe its their only hope to live a healthy life.

These diet fads are cultism at it's mind-fucking finest. The ideas and philosophies are pitched at people who are at a loss, who feel socially-excluded and vulnerable due to their perceived flaws. The core principles at the heart of these diets have a ring of truth to them, and they make the people who follow them feel a twinge of superiority because they think they've learned some special secret to a better life. They take pride in making whatever sacrifice they're making because it (in their minds) puts them a cut above everyone else. If that's not a recipe for a cult, I don't know what is.

The lifestyle changes adopted to adhere to the diet exclude you FURTHER from the rest of society by way of eliminating the social element to eating. People LIKE to eat together. One of the basic ways that we stay connected or even get to know one another is usually through sharing a meal and conversation together. When you decide to follow a very counter-culture diet that drastically limits what you can and can't eat, it narrows what restaurants you can eat at and whose house you can eat at. If you're vegan, you'll end up reaching out to find other vegans to fill the void you're experiencing from a lack of communal meal options, and to validate your reasons for excluding these opportunities from your life.

3: Low-Fat Diet

This is actually a fairly harmless, albeit fairly ineffective diet. In the short term, reducing fat intake keeps your overall cholesterol levels in check, and makes it easier to maintain your weight. It's not GOOD for your heart to eat nothing but high-fat foods, but its not going to kill you to get a little crazy with the cheez-whiz every now and then. The problem being, as much as the idea of cancer and heart disease prevention is linked in the collective mind of most people and medical professionals, a massive eight year study was done on the effectiveness of a low-fat diet against those diseases and came up with.. well, nothing. The group that ate anything it damn well pleased ended up having the same rate of heart disease and cancer occurrence as the group on a strict low fat, high fiber diet. When I say low-fat, I mean these people were not allowed to have cream cheese on bagels, butter on toast, or even oil in salad dressings. At the end of the study, the occurrences of diabetes, cancer, heart disease, and obesity were so similar between both groups, that differences in results between the two were deemed "statistically insignificant".

I'm not suggesting that anyone go chow down on a tub of bacon-flavored lard in celebration of this study, but it probably wouldn't hurt anything to go ahead and have that ice cream after dinner. Apparently, cancer doesn't give a shit about your "rocky road" dependency.

Dietary Cult Risk Rating : 1/10 - Sticking to a low-fat diet doesn't come with a lot of pomp and self-righteousness. It just makes you turn down most offered food in favor of sitting alone every morning, eating dry toast and black decaf. Sounds like ... prison?


2: Low-Carb Diet

Low-carb diets, like the Atkins Diet, help people lose weight by initiating ketosis in the body. Ketosis occurs when the body is at a deficit for carbohydrates (energy), and has to resort to burning up what resources are stored in the body's fat supply to provide itself enough energy to maintain function. That MIGHT sound good, because in a way you're kick-starting a natural mechanism in the body that will UTILIZE all that fat that your body has packed away over the years. Besides, low-carb diets encourage snacking on things like peanuts, pork rinds, and beef jerky. A freakin' bacon-wrapped, cheese-smothered, smoked  New York strip steak is actually low-carb diet friendly. WHAT THE FUCK? YES!!! YES!!! THERE IS A GOD AND HIS NAME BE ATKINS!! How can that be bad?

Well, for one thing, don't try this if you're diabetic. It could send you into diabetic ketoacidosis, which could lead to coma or death.

Ketosis is a process that's NOT easy on the body. It's a process that costs the body a great expenditure of energy in an effort to get additional energy out of stored fat, but also protein. In case you aren't aware, muscles and other organs are largely comprised of the same proteins ketosis will break down. By denying yourself carbs and starchy, carb-filled foods, you're forcing your body to rip itself up to support itself. That's like fixing holes in your roof by patching it with the siding on your house, and then when that siding won't cover the hole without extra support, you knock some of the bricks out of the side of your house to put on top of it. FUCKING BRILLIANT!

From Buzzle.com

Some of the symptoms of ketosis are:

The presence of a sickly sweet smelling, fruity breath. This peculiar smell is due to the presence of acetone bodies. This bad breath may be offensive to some people, but is a classic sign of ketosis

Tiredness and fatigue is often seen in the initial stages of ketosis

Headache

Excessive thirst

Weakness and dizziness

Nausea and stomach aches, accompanied by abdominal pain

Problems with sleeping

Regarding low-carb diets, in general, The American Heart Association states: "Individuals who follow these diets are therefore at risk for compromised vitamin and mineral intake, as well as potential cardiac, renal [kidney], bone, and liver abnormalities overall." Low carb diets like the Atkins diet may also hasten the onset of type II diabetes.

Dietary Cult-Risk Rating:  6/10 - Many people will believe your diet is a bad idea, what with the whole "low-fat diet" belief still making the rounds. However, while you're busy thinking you're a badass as you shed that first large amount of water weight, not only will you be doing damage to your OWN body, you'll probably be trying to convert all of your friends to this awesome meat-gnawing, potato-eschewing diet. You're likely to draw a lot of unwitting saps into the fold. Despite the TONS of websites warning people away from low-carb diets, most people don't bother to learn about their own basic body functions, let alone worry about them failing as a result of trying to lose weight.

1 - Vegetarian/Vegan Diet

Oh, hippies, how weary I am of you, in all your many incarnations..

I can understand the desire to abstain from eating things that have faces. I really can. However, there's a really big difference between maintaining a meatless diet for personal reasons, and deluding yourself into thinking that your personal reasons equal out to meat-eating being unhealthy for human beings. We are OMNIVORES. Get the fuck over it. On the bright side for vegetarians, being an omnivore means you can actually survive without meat, though I personally don't see it as much more than survival if there's no bacon involved.

Vegetarianism isn't so bad, despite a notable lack of cured pork products. A lot of vegetarians eat dairy, cheese, or maybe eggs, but draw the line at actual meat. These are the kind you see that clearly aren't eating any healthier than anyone else at the restaurant, but make a big fucking deal about ordering the vegetarian plate. I may, in fact, be a tad bitter from some of my experiences with vegetarians. I'm sure there are plenty of vegetarians who aren't, by nature, a giant pain in the ass to all of their omnivorous friends and family. I have surely just had a (long) run of bad luck with vegetarians who:

- Like to make a point about your eating meat and how much it grosses them out

- Constantly go into personal crises about what sellouts they are for eating dairy products

- Embarrass everyone who will still go to a restaurant with them by talking about how much better they could have made this "at home" with soy and tree nut products INSTEAD of dirty cow products.

- Make comparisons about what you're eating to demonstrate why they wouldn't eat it
  - "To me, it's no different than taking a piece of dog shit and handing it to me on a plate. That's how
      dirty and nasty that burger you're eating right now looks to me" - actual quote

- Come over to your house and talk about how much it stinks because you've "cooked dead things"

- Maintain this diet for "health reasons" yet remain the sickliest, fattest OR most underweight, most unhealthy people you know.

- Refuse to accept "western medicine", relying instead on "traditional eastern healing" methods that involve ingredients they can't pronounce, don't really research so that they can use them properly, and that come from countries that wouldn't use that outdated shit anymore if you PAID them, because they, instead, rely on "western medicine".

-Always need someone to talk them out of the bathroom, drive them to the doctor, or otherwise handle business for them when their malnutritious lifestyle ends up biting them in the ass.

..and that's just vegetarians.. you know, the ones that actually eat non-meat animal products. Vegans are like vegetarians, but about ten times worse with an extra helping of self-righteousness and delusion.

On a vegan diet, no animal products or by products are allowed. This means no cheese, no dairy, no eggs, no standard gelatin (which is made from beef), or anything else that comes from animals or fish. This is a great idea in theory if you love animals, and I do... but not enough to refrain from eating some of them. There are several nutrients that the human body needs that are not easily found in a standard vegan diet, and I venture to say are usually obtained in insufficient amounts by way of vegan cuisine. Here's a few of them, from The Independent, a British news publication :

Nutrients that everyone needs

B12

Because this vitamin is mainly found in meat, dairy products and eggs, vegans must get it from other sources such as supplements, fortified breakfast cereals and Marmite. Deficiency can lead to irreversible nervous system damage.

Vitamin D

Our skins make vitamin D when exposed to the sun's ultraviolet rays. But with desk-bound jobs, long winters and unpredictable weather, it is not always possible to get enough. Vitamin D is crucial for bone growth in children, and deficiency can result in rickets. Oily fish is one of the best dietary sources, but vegans can obtain it from fortified breakfast cereals and margarine. People living in Scotland may need to take greater care over vitamin D, as may people from cultures that require them to cover up.

Calcium

Found in dairy products, this is essential for strong bones. It is often lacking in a vegan diet unless taken as supplement.

Iron

Without sufficient iron, vegans and vegetarians can become anaemic. Deficiency can also delay growth in toddlers. Iron is commonly found in meat, but vegetarians can source iron from pulses and leafy green vegetables.

Calories

Although childhood obesity is an issue today, not enough calories can mean children don't grow properly. This can be a problem in high-fibre diets.

Protein

High-biological-value protein is found in meat, fish, eggs and dairy products. Low-biological-value protein is found in nuts, pulses and wholegrains. Separately, the latter don't contain all the essential amino acids, but do when combined correctly. Knowledge of which foods to mix together is therefore crucial.

I'll venture to say it because it's TRUE. In an average person's day, with a schedule that probably includes a job, or school, or kids, or all three.. how much time does said average person have to make sure you balance out each and every meal to ensure that you have at least sufficient amounts of necessary nutrients present in your food? Most people DO NOT have the time or even the inclination to do that (even if, ideally, they should), which is why most processed food is supplemented, or "enriched", with nutrients.

Most vegetarians and vegans won't eat anything processed or with "additives" if they can help it, so they don't even get that minute amount of supplements found in basic every day foods. Sure, the argument is that vegans take nutritional supplements to make up for whatever they're not getting in their diet, which is a great idea in theory, but not all supplements are created equal and they don't necessarily absorb properly in pill or powder form.What's worse is that vegans and vegetarians do, in fact, bring their kids along for the ride.

This story, also from The Independent, details a vegan mother realizing the damage her eating habits had done to her children.

"One morning over breakfast, Holly Paige looked at her daughter and realised things weren't right. Lizzie should have been flourishing. Instead, her cheeks were pinched, she was small for her age, and although she had skinny arms and legs, her belly was big and swollen. When Lizzie smiled, Paige suddenly noticed her upper front teeth were pitted with holes.

"I was absolutely horrified," recalls Paige."

In 2007, a vegan couple from Atlanta were given life sentences over the death of their six week old infant son, whose diet to that point had consisted of apple juice and soy milk. Of course, these people being vegans, full of themselves, and so certain that they knew better than EVERYONE ELSE, delivered the child at home without all that bothersome western medicine getting in the way. Why they didn't so much as bother to breastfeed the baby or even feed it formula is beyond me. At six weeks old, he died weighing 3 1/2 pounds. The parents claimed that they didn't think anything was wrong with him until a few minutes before he died.

Even in the cases of breastfeeding vegetarian mothers, those babies are known to experience massive developmental delays as reported by the Centers for Disease Control. Another case in 2003 involved a vegan couple from Queens, NY, whose 15 month old weighed ten pounds and had no teeth due to malnutrition. This baby was not breastfed or given formula, was delivered at home, was NOT given immunizations, and was also suffering from rickets and an inability to sit up or talk.

From azcentral.com

On April 23, 2005, Blair Parker called 911 because his 3-year-old daughter seemed to be having a seizure.

Doctors in the emergency room found that the girl was emaciated - she weighed just 13 pounds - and they asked to examine Parker's other two children.
His 11-year-old daughter was the size of a 5-year-old, and his 9-year-old son was the size of a 3-year-old. All of the children had been fed a diet that Parker and his wife misguidedly believed was a proper vegan diet, meaning that they eschewed all meat and fish and even dairy products

Read more: http://www.azcentral.com/news/articles/2008/07/04/20080704parker0704.html#ixzz1ZhOICqiI

From TimesOnline UK:

A 12-YEAR-OLD girl in Scotland brought up by her parents on a strict vegan diet has been admitted to hospital with a degenerative bone condition said to have left her with the spine of an 80-year-old woman.

Doctors are under pressure to report the couple to police and social workers amid concerns that her health and welfare may have been neglected in pursuit of their dietary beliefs.

The girl, who has been fed on a strict meat and dairy-free diet from birth, is said to have a severe form of rickets and to have suffered a number of fractured bones.
Read more:
http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/news/uk/scotland/article4087734.ece

Dietary Cult-Risk Rating - 9/10 - I'd give it a full 10 for indoctrination at birth, but it seems that the kids aren't living long enough for that to count.