American Gun Rights: Why are we fighting to keep guns in the hands of future criminals?

The idea that some person with guns is going to fight off the government isn't a sound one for arguing for gun rights. For one thing, the examples of Waco and Ruby Ridge should have pretty much summed up by now why that's a bad argument. If the government wants to take you out, they are taking you out. That in itself is a major problem that gun culture is not only NOT solving, its probably making worse by suggesting to people that having stores of weapons is somehow going to make them safe in a conflict, whereas we're probably just more likely to witness another standoff wherein children are put into danger and more often than not, killed.

In the same breath I hear "criminals don't follow laws so how is making guns illegal going to stop them", which lines "criminals" out like people that aren't any of "us" and that's ridiculous. Things that are perfectly legal in ONE state would make you a "criminal" in another. Criminality comes usually out of a place of desperation, lack of education and/or opportunity, existential threat, deprivation, etc. Most people are not born with a "criminal" mindset, and even the mentally ill are usually not specifically more dangerous to a society (some extremely rare exceptions do exist, but writing the mentally ill off as a whole is a careless and dangerous thing to do). A life circumstance beyond your immediate control could force you into engaging in "criminal" acts to save your life or protect your family. You know, like shooting a person (which is pretty much illegal).

For some, legal use of guns and legal gun ownership is considered more criminal than others. We have a law enforcement and judicial system that disproportionately impacts people of darker skin. Racism in relation to gun access and laws is a whole different Pandora's box of problems, as well. Philando Castile was not a criminal, informed an officer appropriately about having a gun that he was licensed to carry, and was shot to death as a passenger in a car in front of his girlfriend and her toddler. Had that jumpy ass officer aimed his gun so much as an inch to the right, he'd have SHOT that toddler in her car seat. More guns did not help that situation. Marissa Alexander was being abused and was in fear of her and her infant's life, so she fired a WARNING SHOT into the upper corner of a wall in her home to scare back her abusive husband and was GIVEN 20 YEARS in prison, while the next year in the same state George Zimmerman shot and killed Trayvon Martin, whom he had literally stalked during the course of an evening and was told by law enforcement to stop following and he was let off on the same "stand your ground" defense that failed Ms. Alexander (whose conviction was thrown out on appeal after a few years, thank God). More guns are not helping in these situations either.

So, we have some incompatible ideas going on here. If you engage in a standoff against police (enforcement arm of government), that's pretty illegal and would be considered criminal behavior. Hell, I would think that planning for such an event in advance by its own nature would be considered conspiracy in regard to future criminal acts. Yet, I find that a commonality found with the pro-gun crowd is a pro-police mentality, yet at the same time, the pro-gun crowd tends to bandy about the idea that you have to have guns to fight off the government which would first be ..the police. So, you don't want "criminals" to be the only ones getting guns cause what.. if.. you.. need.. to do something.. criminal, too? I don't get it.

Rather, I do get it, but it's hypocritical as fuck and a dangerous mindset to feel that you're entitled to kill people but no one else is. Yet at the same time, lets make sure people have more guns.

Seriously, fuck this. Keep a lever-action rifle at home in case shit gets hairy or you have a maniac banging down your door. Tell me why you need to not only have guns, but an armory full of guns that can kill people faster than fuck, like rapid-fire weapons?

Who are these "criminals" again?

yeah, they probably won't, huh?

The Feminine Context

Craigslist of Ridiculous Demands: Men Seeking Women for Godawful Reasons

If ever you are single and feeling down about it, all you need to do is pop over to Craigslist and take a good long look at who's looking for YOU..

Fo' real, bitches. Ten minutes into just scanning over a few posts in "Men Seeking Women" and I was seriously trying to figure out the logistics of getting my vagina stitched shut.

Let's look at some real winners from the Dallas area...

From the ad:

"First of all I'm in the Phoenix area, so if you are what I'm looking for, you'll also have to be willing to move here. It's a nice place actually and great weather. I'm SWM, mid 40s, professional, handsome, successful, 5'11" 185lb, non smoker, light drinker. I own a very nice home (though it could use a woman's touch) and have all kinds of fun toys. My interests include Harleys, Corvettes, Dirt Bikes, Motor Sports, Photography, Guns, Shooting, Home improvement and do it yourself projects. I'm upbeat and like to enjoy my free time as much as possible."

Translation: I GOTS MONIES. YEAH. THAT'LL GET EM.

To elaborate on that point, the man kindly leaves us another picture:

"You'll need to like weekend trips to Vegas or the California coast. I'm Looking for a girlfriend and possibly future wife 18-35 with a figure, no kids and also a lady who might enjoy (or would like to) model for hot high heel, mini skirt theme photos and video. Photography is a huge interest of mine and I'd like to find a partner who enjoys modeling and is very photogenic. Do you like to play dress up and pose for photos or perform for the video camera? Is this something you've fantasized about? Would like to find a husband who encourages your exhibionist tendencies? You are my type if you do. I'll spoil MY girl rotten, hair styling, manicures, pedicures, heels, hot outfits, etc. Yes, everything it takes to make YOU my hot little Model and beautiful girlfriend or wife. Send a pic with reply. You may be just the girl I've been looking for : ) "

Translation: I AM TOTALLY WILLING TO PAY FOR ALL THE SHIT THAT MAKES YOU LOOK AS PLASTIC AS POSSIBLE. THAT IS PRETTY MUCH ALL I AM LOOKING FOR SINCE I HAVEN'T SUGGESTED A SINGLE PERSONALITY TRAIT THAT I AM ALSO LOOKING TO FIND.

"Want huge implants as in DDD to G??? Major bonus points if you do because that's the look I want my woman to have. Yes, you need to want to be a huge boobs hottie!"

There better be a health plan involved, because some bitch is going to undergo early spinal failure trying to hold them things up. Oh, gentleman.. do you also plan on providing steel-reinforced breast scaffolds? Cause anyone with a waist as tiny as you seem to require is going to need some additional support keeping those boobs upright.

OH! and here's another..this guy's looking for a "country gal" who's all about breaking every cardinal rule of meeting someone over the internet..

"Ok so this the deal I am white male 34 years old and I am going on vacation the week of thanksgiving to my parents cabin. Were going to cookout hunt drink beer drink wiskey what ever the night unfolds. So im looking for a country girl that would enjoy this sort of thing this event can be platonic or romantic all depends on are vibe I guess. There are seperate beds and all that so dont have to worry about sleeping together if thats something your worried about. Really just want the company and too have a good time. So taking applicants lol send me email some info on yourself and some pics. Yee Yee!!!!! (Ps some of the pics are from when we have been working on it as we speak so its work in progress lol)..."

Oh, sure.. why not? I'll just pack up mah country bumpkin ass, get in your truck (which I assume you have), and just hit the road on a major family holiday out to your cabin! Yee...

wha?

Oh yeah, there's this picture that opens up the ad..

Three hours outside of town in a half-built cabin with someone I've never met? Yeah, I think I'll pass, buddy... that's a damn Lifetime thriller waiting to happen.

So having been completely creeped out by what Dallas had to offer today, I checked out Knoxville, TN

Then I found this:

Really, the creepiness of this speaks for itself. Even the babies look freaked out..

"Hi, are there any women on here who are at their point in life where they have not found the right person to have a family with, but time is running out for whatever reason and would like to make one now. Not in the next couple of years but rather sooner than later? I am an Asian man in the same boat and looking for someone to make a family or child together. I am not here to play games or beat around the bush. I dont care what race you are or maybe you have a kid already but must be open to having more. Please put "BABY" in the title so I know you are real and not a bot or spam. But more importantly tell me about you and send me some photos of you also, would like to see who I am talking to."

Love how seeing a photo of his breeding stock is a mere footnote to the whole post about impregnating her.. *shudder*

LOVE this one... real dream of a guy...

"Hello and no im not looking just for sex !

If you do drugs please do Not waste my time.

Why do u email me thin never email me back after I reply,,U women are so unpredictable .you all must like playing games!!"

Us women, we're such unpredictable, game-playing sillies! I bet I can predict how many dates you get when you heap the responsibility of all of your bad dating experiences on US! Could it possibly be that your poor grasp of the English language, paired with your excessive, aggressive, desperation-infused use of exclamation points is scaring the ladies away? Oh wait.. he goes on..

"Why is it so hard to find someone these days I will never no,,I dont understand what women want these days.please no judgemental women,,be nice"

You girls will never "no". Le sigh...

When Vaginas Attack: Wednesday Killer Ladyparts Edition (NSFW - duh)

Drugs are bad, mmkay?

The above video actually comes from "Sexual Parasite: Killer Pussy", an astonishingly terribly scream flick from Japan (where else?). I still prefer the "No means NO" scene from the movie "Teeth", which for clarification was about the timeless vagina dentata myth. I'm thinking this clip, disturbing though it may be, could possibly do a fair amount of good if shown to a few unprepared dudebros..




Of course, to read something utterly fucking hilarious about vagina panic in the nonfictional, real world, I'm going to suggest a visit to TheHoopla to read Corinne Grant's epic "Attack of the Killer Vaginas", written in response to THIS Australian Carefree Acti-Fresh commercial..


From what I understand, people went ape-shit down under at the mere mention of that highly unmentionable body part down under there.. THE VAGINA!

..to quote Ms. Grant:

"Vaginas are way more dangerous than weather! Why do you think babies come out of them screaming?

There’s no point denying it any longer, ladies, what you keep between your legs is dangerous and must be stopped. Your fetid bits are the bringers-down of governments, the destroyers of morality and the breeders of lust.

Thank god the good people of Family First have had the guts to stand up and say, “Enough! The V word is hurty on my ears!”  Now all we can do is hope that something will be done to stop this evil scourge.

Believing that vaginas are a normal, acceptable part of the human anatomy is the first step towards eternal damnation."

you tell em, Bitch!

Enjoy your day ;)

Saga Of The Sodden Stay-At-Home Moms

This is an actual facebook conversation, saved, names and identities removed. These are women whose "job" within the structure of their family is to stay home and care for their children. I seriously doubt their husbands get to drink at THEIR jobs.

I am a stay at home mother with about a billion other irons in the fire from working online, and somehow, it never occurs to me to get trashed while my child is under my care. I posted a bit about this phenomena HERE and HERE, and every time I think I was being unreasonable, I see something else that makes my stomach turn.

I hate to think of what these women would have to say about babysitters or teachers or childcare workers who drank "socially" or to "relax" while at their jobs. So what makes it different when the drinking is done by mom at home? Why is it "cute" because they're saying "glass of wine"? What if they said "Jack& Coke" or "Jello Shots"? It's the same thing except the public idea is that jello shots are stronger, so more caution might be taken when it came to pounding em down. I sincerely doubt anyone would find it remotely classy that women who don't work and bring in an income for the family are watching their kids hammered on whiskey or vodka, but somehow when it's wine, it's suburban chic?

Are we actually lamenting the fact that no one can get away with popping Valium like its candy? While caring for children?

The Feminine Context

Rick Santorum Works His Ass Off To Prove Continuing Obsession With Gay Sex

I don't think there's anyone on Earth more obsessed with gay sex than Rick Santorum.

Every time I think this guy's stopped worrying himself into a tizzy about male homosexual practices, he puckers up over something else. Here he goes again...

From HuffingtonPost.com

"Republican presidential candidate Rick Santorum touted his support for anti-sodomy laws and said gay marriage supporters wanted to "drive faith out of the public square" in an interview with controversial preacher Bradlee Dean, founder of You Can Run But You Cannot Hide International, a Christian punk-rock youth ministry based in Minnesota.

"And I stood up from the very beginning back in 2003 when the Supreme Court was going create a constitutional right to sodomy and said this is wrong we can't do this," said Santorum, according to the Minnesota Independent. "And so I stood up when no one else did and got hammered for it. I stood up and I continue to stand up."

Yes, that's right. He said "hammered". It's pretty scary that Santorum is allying himself with folks like Bradlee Dean. The "You Can Run But You Can't Hide" ministry is known for some pretty fucked up shit..

From HuffingtonPost.com

"Dean himself has made numerous controversial comments about homosexuality, including saying executing homosexuals is moral and alleging that Thomas Jefferson and George Washington wanted to make homosexuality illegal."

... and by the way, I've never met a heterosexual man that I could see being okay with his name being published as effeminately as "Bradlee". Just something to think about..

Will the people with the Streisand fetish please step forward?

Sorry. I'm about to out you, you sick bastards.

I happened to take a gander at my blog's stats this morning, and now I'm sitting here laughing my ass off at what sort of traffic I've managed to attract.

In case you're not aware of what information you can review for web traffic statistics, it breaks down to referring sites, URLs from those sites, and what keywords were entered into a search engine that eventually led visitors to your site.

Care to guess what search phrase has been drawing a surprising number of people here?

"streisand ass"

No, I'm completely fucking serious.

People are entering "streisand ass" into Google, and coming up with a link to this blog.

STREISAND ASS? WTF you guys?

If I laugh any harder, I'm going to need new pants.

I would imagine that those two keywords (entered together as "streisand ass") are pulling up the link to this post about the Kardashians, how fake they are, and how different people look with the right makeup. I happened to pull up a few celebrity photos in which said celebrities were not wearing makeup, and one of them happened to be Barbara Streisand. I'm morally certain without even looking that I wrote the word "ass" in at least four or five places.. hell, it was a fairly long post, after all. I've been known to toss some asses about, you know.

Let the record state that I never said anything about Barbara Streisand's ass in particular.

You people and your sick fucking fetishes. HAHAHA. I love you. I love you, you nasty Streisand ass worshipping freaks. Keep coming back, I'll find something else to tickle you with, I'm sure.

Proof positive. I do more than bust balls on this blog.

Holy. Fucking. Shit.

Don't get me wrong, I really LOVE cats. I've had cats. I worked like a dog (heh) trying to get cats adopted out of the humane society where I used to work. That's not exactly easy to do when a surprisingly insane percentage of Americans fear or resent cats for various reasons. I'm all about some damn cats. I'm probably the person who would go back into the burning building for some cats, okay? But sweet jumpin' Jesus..

I'm all about some psychiatric medications when they're needed, too.
BITCH NEEDS SOME MEDS. STAT.

How did this video even get past her own PC? Is it just me, or does this not qualify as an "instant-delete" sample take, here? Did e-Harmony actually let this one through?