Reality TV star goes to unreal lengths justifying spousal abuse

What in the holy fuck, yo?

'Real Housewife' Melissa Gorga's New Book Advocates Marital Rape - Jezebel

Let me just get it out of the way.. I DON'T WATCH A LOT OF TV.. specifically because I have no desire to see Kardashians, Hedonistic Housewives, or any other kind of television show that follows women around to watch them shop, be catty for the sake of cattiness, bolster the validity of the worst kind of female stereotypes, or otherwise celebrate wastefulness and selfishness. Sorry people, Rome is burning and as such, I could care less about the window treatments, catfights, or in-home mani-pedi that some polished, plucked, spritzed, painted banshee is screeching about in her excessively expensive home.

As I get older, and see more and more people struggling to just fucking FEED themselves and their children on a daily basis, I can't help but find myself vomitously disgusted by these "Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous" throwbacks. But I digress...

NOW, as if ovary-bearing individuals are not slogging their way through enough problems with prevalent rape-culture, street harrassment, and slut-shaming, we've got a new bible for the apologetic battered housewife.. "Love Italian Style: The Secrets of My Hot and Happy Marriage" - by Melissa Gorga

Not only does this book divulge personal details of this woman's systematic abuse and subjugation in her marriage at the hands of her husband, Joe, it goes on to profess that his temper, selfishness, and controlling behaviour are merely "manly" traits that should not only be tolerated, but cherished and lovingly acknowledged as true romance shown from a man to a woman.

In fact, he's so lovingly helicoptering this woman ALL the fucking time, that she wasn't permitted to so much as write the book HERSELF.. oh no.. there are sections written ENTIRELY BY JOE in HER book, to the point that it would appear he is interrupting and shouting over her in printed word as much as we can surmise he does in person.

Here's a real gem by the aforementioned Joe, wherein he appears to find sexual assault both hot and a husbandly duty:

"Men, I know you think your woman isn't the type who wants to be taken. But trust me, she is. Every girl wants to get her hair pulled once in a while. If your wife says "no," turn her around, and rip her clothes off. She wants to be dominated.

Women don't realize how easy men are. Just give us what we want."

DAMN, ladies! Just give them what they want and whenever they want it! Why didn't WE think of that? Probably because our ladybits make us overly emotional and illogical. Thank GOD for men like Joe and the brain-adjusting semen injections they can provide for us! However could we become the ideal dishwashing, brainless, babymaking, bedroom vamping, foundation-plastered automatons we ALL desire to be without all the dick that guys like Joe insist on giving us whenever they feel like it? ALL HAIL THE DEMANDING MAN AND HIS BLESSED SEXUAL AGGRESSION! Didn't you know that toddler-style temper tantrums and demands are COMPLETELY ACCEPTABLE out of grown men? The only difference is that when boys grow into men they are BIG and STRONG and can rip your clothes off to get the "cookies" as is the right of the husband and....

JESUS FUCKING CHRIST ON A CRACKER ARE YOU SERIOUS? REALLY?? SOMEONE ACTUALLY PUBLISHED A CONTEMPORARY BOOK MAKING MARITAL RAPE SOUND NORMAL???

Also, gals... did you know your husband is not supposed to be aware of the bodily functions you and he have in common? Melissa says that women don't shit.

Seriously.

"Girls don't poop. Me, never have. Never will. It just doesn't happen. Or, that's what Joe thinks! We've been married for nine years, and he has never once seen or smelled my business. How have I pulled this off? I don't do it when he's around or awake. In an emergency, I have my ways of pooping so he won't hear, smell, or see. It's a challenge."

Thanks a pantload, Melissa Gorga. .. er.. or not.

This might be where we've all gone wrong, girls. If you're not playing "Hide and Shit", your relationship is doomed. I gotta say, though.. if that is, indeed, "what Joe thinks", Joe is not the sharpest tool in the shed. He's a tool, sure.. just not a very sharp one.

More husbandly advice from the magnanimous Joe..

"To be on the same level, everyone has to get off the high horse. I don't care if the woman makes more money than the man, if he's a janitor and she's the president. After a fourteen-hour workday, if a man comes home and there's no dinner on the table, and his wife is on the phone, watching TV, or on the computer ignoring him, he won't feel respected."

So... leader of the free world best be home early makin' you a steak, huh? What a douchebag..

Oh, and this (from Joe):

"I don't feed babies, or change the diapers. My father never wiped my ass, and I don't wipe my babies' either."

Damn, Melissa.. how do you let him leave the house? I'm sure the bitches are lining up READY to pounce on this one! Sarcasm aside, its really this paragraph from the first chapter that kills me. Basically, a foreword that explains how she got into this mess in the first place..

"I was envious of girls with daddies to turn to. They could make a call, and their fathers would swoop in to fix their car brakes, give them a loan, or make them feel treasured and special. I missed that closeness. I found myself drawn to a certain kind of man, a father figure who made me feel protected and would tell me right from wrong. They weren’t older than me per se. It was the authoritative and instructive personality type—someone who could take charge—that attracted me. I know a lot of women wouldn’t like that. But I responded to it."

If that isn't heartbreaking enough, she later tells of Joe's "instruction" in their married life together, outlining a pattern of abuse that first assures her that there is something wrong with her that needs to be "corrected" and how validating his controlling behaviour is essential to the health of their marriage.

"His style was to make corrections and to teach me from the beginning days of our marriage exactly how he envisioned our life together. Joe always says, "You got to teach someone to walk straight on the knife. If you slip, you're going to get cut." Even if something didn't bother him that badly, he'd bring it up. He wanted to make sure that I knew, for example, if I ran out to CVS and he came home from work to an empty house, he didn't like it. He'd call me and say, "I don't care if you're out all day long. But I don't want to come home to an empty house."

... you know.. God forbid she see herself as an individual person. According to Joe, she isn't. She's a WIFE, and therefore property meant to feed, breed, clean up after, and sexually serve him.

Someone got the big balls and wanna try some "feminism is outdated/unnecessary" shit with me today?


The Feminine Context

Sexual, Female, AND Human? Why Sasha Gray Can't Catch A Break

11/11/2011
From HuffingtonPost:

"How would you feel if an adult film star read to your seven year old child? Believe it or not, some parents in California are pretty angry that it happened in their kids' classroom.
Porn legend Sasha Grey was a guest reader at Emerson Elementary School in Compton, California earlier this month, joining first and third grade students in their Read Across America day. Grey certainly enjoyed the experience, tweeting, "Spent the am with Read Across America Compton, reading to the sweetest 1st & 3rd grade students @ Emerson Elementary!"
The problem, TMZ reports, is that parents aren't happy -- and that school officials, instead of addressing the issue, are claiming it never happened. Of course, it'd be silly for Grey to tweet about it if it hadn't happened, and more importantly, TMZ has a photo of the event (as they always seem to do)."

Ms. Gray gave a statement to TMZ regarding her participation in the Read Across America child literacy program, in which she writes:


"Read Across America" is a program that was designed to promote literacy and instill a lifelong love of reading in elementary school students. Promoting education is an effort that is close to my heart. Illiteracy contributes to poverty; encouraging children to pick up a book is fundamental.
 I believe education is a universal right. I committed to this program with the understanding that people would have their own opinions about what I have done, who I am and what I represent.
 I am an actor. I am an artist. I am a daughter. I am a sister. I am a partner. I have a past that some people may not agree with, but it does not define who I am. 
I will not live in fear of it. To challenge non-profit education programs is an exercise in futility, counter-productive and anti-educational. 
I cannot thank my fans and 'Read Across America' enough for supporting my decision. Your support and kind words continue to inspire me. I believe in the future of our children, and I will remain an active supporter and participant in education-focused initiatives."


Good for you, Sasha Gray. What a great thing for you to do for a group of kids that certainly enjoyed your reading to them. If only most kids' parents would take that kind of time and read to their children.

I don't have a damn thing against porn, and neither should you. I'm not talking about illegal activities involving non-consenting individuals. No one's backing that up. I'm talking about good ol' American (Japanese? Russian? German? Whatever floats your boat) porn, that almost everyone has looked at at some point or another, if not several times a week... or day.. or in an alternate window while you're reading this very post.

Both hands on the keyboard, buddy. I'm trying to tell you something, here.

Okay. Fine. Finish and come back after you've washed your hands.

Regarding porn..

For starters, you probably watch it. Statistical data is hard to count on because one group or another is constantly tweaking numbers up or down to try and make a point, but let's just say that the majority of reports about adult pornography use on the internet indicate that a whole fuck of a lot of everyone is watching, viewing, or reading some porn at any given time of the day or night. If one were to try and draw some sort of "average score" out of these extremely varied reports on internet pornography usage, it probably boils down to somewhere around 52% of men and 50% of women who at least admitted to it. Obviously, these numbers don't even begin to account for people who look at it and don't want to tell anyone, or who look at "specialty" porn designed to satisfy fetishes that are based on objects or ideas that most people would never identify with the term "sexy". Many people are sexually excited by the damndest, and quite frankly, most harmless things. I for one don't think I have any business whatsoever getting my panties in a wad over whether someone is attracted or excited by things like stuffed animals, trees, or bugs. I am  in no way required to participate in anyone else's turn-on, if asked, I can say no.. so how is it any of my concern if my neighbor gets a semi because he thinks the myrtle tree in my yard is hot as hell. Good for him. At least someone is noticing my tree and NOT how long it's been since I cut the grass beneath it. What do I care? If everyone is obeying the law, then he's in his house getting his jollies from that myrtle and its sexy, bark-free body, and he's not on my lawn humping it. Everyone's happy.

If you insist that you don't partake of the massive erotic pornucopia online, well what the hell ever, okay? I'm just going to be nice about it and nod, but don't push it. Porn use is so prevalent among adults that as much as you want to get a bee in your butt (fetish?) about it, probably half of your knitting club does things with their needles that would make you not only cross your legs but strap them together with leather belts. Problem being, this might only turn them on MORE. The real point is that there's NO point getting upset about it. Porn is everywhere and it's been here since our ancestors figured out they could use Saber-Toothed Cat poo like crayons on their cave walls, and that an extra stick limb on a stick figure could represent a penis.



Pornography is no longer the sad business of taking starry-eyed would be actresses and making depraved whores out of them, if it ever really was. Adult film stars see themselves as just that, "stars", not victims or objects of pity. Adult entertainment is big freaking business, and as such, working standards have improved if for no other reason than to keep everyone's asses covered on a legal front. The porn industry creates jobs, and is well-recognized as the primary driving force behind many of the technological developments that have come to benefit both businesses and consumers alike. Internet technology like credit-card processing and verification, website membership security, encryption, video technology, and file-optimization have all been developed more rapidly, competitively, and economically as a means to buy and sell adult content online.

There are a few other things that can be said, specifically about people who actually work in front of the cameras in the adult entertainment industry. The one thing that pornography professionals have done differently than most of us is that they've demonstrated that they've got 'nads enough to work in an industry that, although considered taboo, is actually STILL THRIVING in our otherwise depressed economy. I believe it's also worth mentioning that adult film actresses and models are working in a field that, by the efforts and intentions of society's effort to promote women's sexual liberty, they really ought to be given a bit more respect for. I don't mean that we should be placing banners up everywhere we go, featuring this week's DVDA princess, but considering how many people are actually watching all of this porn, how is it fair to act like these people are doing something subversive and terrible?

Why is it that when sexual acts are filmed, we talk about the individuals engaged in that act as though they should be ashamed of it? How is it any different than what the majority of single adults get drunk and do any given weekend, other than that the adult film industry is more likely to enforce the use of condoms and STD/STI testing before adults engage in sexual intercourse? Sometimes, in an effort to promote feminism, porn actresses will be discussed as though they are brainwashed, patriarchy-indoctrinated "victims" which in itself is degrading, not uplifting, to these women. How is it that violent, gory crime dramas are winning awards, but the act of two (or more?) adults doing something together that makes them feel freaking AWESOME is considered a cause of detriment to society? Sasha Gray, for example, is a beautiful young woman who has recently published a book (adult in nature, but intellectual and artistic) and is proud of her work, as she has every right to be. How is it anyone's place to tell her she shouldn't be? She's achieved a great deal of success in her former career, and is currently expanding into new territory. How is it fair that we shower women like Kim Kardashian with press, attention, and fan-worship for doing, well.. nothing without her mom's direction and her dad's money, yet we take the first opportunity we can to piss on an adult film actress who took an opportunity to do something nice and READ to little kids?

There are certainly many varieties of adult entertainment that are presented with elements of violence, and these cater to specific fetishes. Maybe it's true that much of available pornographic material promotes illusory, airbrushed, unrealistic images of women and men. It's part of the fantasy, and anyone who's had sex more than twice can easily understand that fantasy and reality are two very different things. Any information, be it text or image, that is adult in nature can be confusing to children.. this is very true. The rest of the world is not supposed to raise your children or moderate its existence in case your children see. As a parent, it's your job to explain aspects of life to your kids, often as they come up.

It's also a matter of picking your battles at an age-appropriate time for your own child.

In the case of Sasha Gray, there's no reason that any child she read to needs to know anything about her past, and should it come up, a simple "she made movies that are only for adults" would suffice for a child within that age-range. Making a big huge fucking deal out of it is only going to make the situation utterly fascinating to a child, who will then explore the issue that they thought NOTHING about before it garnered such a reaction out of their parents.

The real "problem" is that Sasha Gray doesn't feel bad about herself, her choices, or what she's done. If she seemed ashamed of her sexuality, or a victim of the porn industry, it might make it easier for people to accept her. When pressed to discuss a hypothetical situation that would be completely identical to hers, a lot of people would disagree with condemning her for reading to those children. Our society, with its seemingly indelible stain of puritanism, still has quite a lot to learn. Maybe even from a porn star.

The Feminine Context

Why I'm never tagged in any Facebook party pictures (#1)

Believe it or not, what most people call "hate" can actually be healthy, or at least an indication that your brain still works well enough that it can survive the tidal wave of pointless stupidity that pop culture media tries to drown America in on a daily basis.

Yeah, bitches.. you heard me. SOME hate is healthy.

I hate reading or hearing about the Kardashians. I hate the fact that one cannot AVOID reading or hearing about the Kardashians. I do try, you understand. It's simply impossible, what with their mom, and all the press she can buy, literally hammering people in the head with the name "Kardashian" every time they get online, turn on their television, or go outside their homes. I find this so obnoxious that there is actually a little part of me that longs for the day that Google actually DOES become "Big Brother". Some "top men" at Google get to watch me take a bath (their problem, not mine), and I can filter this crap out of my life entirely with a command as simple as "-kardashian".

Take note of the fact that I did NOT say "I hate the Kardashians". That kind of blind hate is for the simple and ignorant, and that's not something I'll allow myself to become. I really don't think that the word "hate" is the best word for how I DO feel about the tsunami that is Kardashian, but it packs a wallop of venom that I just feel like spraying out at this subject. It's not the actual girls that I dislike, it's what comes with them and what they represent.

So here you go, girls. Let it all out. Add to this. Go for it.

It's OKAY to hate this shit. If you feel anger at the suggestion that you should support the Kardashian Empire..it's okay. Allow me to validate your rage. Here are two answered arguments that you may freely use to support your disgust at all things Kardashian.


Argument One:

(arguments will be phrased much the way I expect they would be phrased by the type of person who would rush to the defense of the Kardashians)

"They're so successful! So ambitious! You're just a jealous bitch and a HATER!"

RICH AND FAMOUS!!! FOR.... Nothing?

The secret of their success is... Daddy. Oh yeah, and Daddy's money. Isn't that where you get all YOUR money? From your Daddy? Well.. if it isn't, then clearly your priorities and values leave much to be desired.

The Kardashian girls have been QUITE successful at not running out of all that money because it's been invested wisely.. by their Mom. With Mom's pitbull-like grasp on her daughters, her business savvy, and her uncanny ability to exploit her children PAST the age of majority, those girls don't have a chance in hell at making the inexperienced decisions that they surely would if not so sternly directed. Under the guidance of She-Who-Owns-Bruce-Jenner, the Kardashians now lend their name to a clothing line that's giving white supremacists a fashionable new day in the sun. 

When your very first steps were paved with gold, your family's provided the best education, diet, and stylists for your ENTIRE LIFE, I should FUCKING hope you're ambitious enough to do something other than sit around on your ass. I'm sick to death of hearing about how ambitious these girls are. Their MOM is ambitious... ambitious to such a frightening extent that I firmly believe if the right advisor could convince her that amputees were in, she'd ask the girls over for brunch at Al's House of Fire-Axes, scheduled to provide enough healing time between a limb-ectomy and People Magazine's annual "Most Beautiful People" edition. For one thing, they don't have to do much to appear ambitious, because every time they lift a (well-planned and carefully staged) finger in front of the public eye, they turn donkey shit to gold ALL THROUGH THE MAGIC OF TELEVISION.

Even crazy Mommy Dearest can get a little excited and fail to read the fine print. In all fairness, she was probably still squinting, waiting for her henchmen to pull their shit together and kidnap a child (with the right genetic match this time, you morons!!!) whose corneas and youth-essence she could harvest, when she unwittingly plastered the half-naked and very expensive images of her offspring all over debit cards that were designed to both:

1. identify their user as a sad, pop-culture obsessed little fan-girl
and
2. to ass-rape the credit history of those users every time they so much as used those cards to buy a magazine (probably containing something about some guy that one of the Kardashians was fucking that week).

Argument Two:
"OMG, U R SOOOO MEAN. THE KARDASHIANS ARE NICE GIRLS WHO ARE REALLY NORMAL EVEN IF THEY R RICH! U JUST WISH U LOOKED LIKE THEM AND HAD THEIR MOENY!"

How nice are they, really?

I submit the following videos for your perusal:

A nice evening at home with the Kardashians



Nice, huh?

How about this next one with the Matriarch at the helm of a deal showcasing one girl, and suggesting to the others that it's a GOOD idea that the other two ride on her coattails later on ..



Oh come on, Khloe... you're ALMOST too fat to even be IN this family, and Kourtney, you're just ugly enough to be cute... like a Chihuahua. How about if I just start carrying you in my purse and maybe we can get a dog products line for you..?

From what I've seen, the Kardashians spend enough money on one lunch to feed a small family for a month, and then they don't even eat it because they're too busy arguing with each other about who's getting more attention from one week to the next. They have done some relatively normal things like getting knocked up and/or married, but when is the last time a network came banging down your door with a million-dollar deal to film you having it out with your douchebag boyfriend and your mom during the annual family-free-for-all at Thanksgiving dinner?

Finally, the Kardashians look as good as they do because they can afford to have ANYTHING and EVERYTHING painted, sprayed, tucked, frosted, conditioned, glossed, waxed, or lifted whenever they wish. With the right stylist and team of aetheticians, you wouldn't recognize and might probably hit on your own sister.

In case you don't want to take my word for it.. Behold...

Eva Longoria - Before and After



Not that anyone's going to break their ass trying to get into her panties, but here you go..

Barbara Streisand - Before and After



and finally, Christina Ricci, with and without makeup..