Why Men Call Women "Crazy" - Turns Out That It's Total Bullshit Like We Thought It Was

From "On Labeling Women 'Crazy'" by Harris O'Malley on HuffPost:

"Back in the bad old days, I was notoriously self-absorbed. It wasn't that I thought that I was the greatest thing ever, it was just that I didn't really stop to spare too many thoughts for others. I was willing to make an effort for others, but only so far as it didn't really inconvenience me past a "reasonable" point. I didn't want to have long drawn out conversations about how my behavior made my girlfriend feel and I certainly didn't want to get dragged into what I saw as unnecessary drama. In fact, I was incredibly drama-averse, thanks to an early unhealthy relationship.

As a result... well, I wasn't willing to consider how others were feeling. When the woman I was dating would try to explain to me how the way I treated her felt, I would tell her that she was seeing things. She was overreacting to inconsequential stuff. She was being over-sensitive, reading things into what I was saying or doing that just weren't there.

The subtext to everything I was saying was simple: "You are behaving in a way that I find inconvenient, and I want to you to stop." I wasn't willing to engage with her emotionally and address her very real concerns because I was too wrapped up in my own shit to think about other people. As a result, I would minimize her issues. By telling her that she was reading too much into things, I was framing the situation as her being irrational.

I didn't realize it at the time, but what I was doing was, in effect, telling her that she didn't have the right to feel the way she felt... because I didn't want her to feel that way."


I would love to see more of this kind of thought process from men. The patriarchal status quo ain't helpin THEM out either, making them all out to be emotionally-challenged, overgrown children who are incapable of interacting with others without gratuity. That's not healthy for anyone, and its not true. Following the societal norms of  traditional gender roles to the letter; fearful, skeptical, and cynical of any deviation, does nothing more than entrap us in unhappy lifestyles and a dangerous, violent culture.

The Feminine Context

I HAVE RAGING SHE-WOOD for Lily Allen - It's Hard Out Here for a Bitch

Lily Allen, I love you.

First thing she says in opening scene...

"I had two babies.."

FOR FUCKS SAKE YES.

Tell me when the march starts, bitch, cause I'm comin' with.

DIRECT LINK HERE - ANTHEM WORTHY- HARD OUT HERE FOR A BITCH


The Feminine Context

Reality TV star goes to unreal lengths justifying spousal abuse

What in the holy fuck, yo?

'Real Housewife' Melissa Gorga's New Book Advocates Marital Rape - Jezebel

Let me just get it out of the way.. I DON'T WATCH A LOT OF TV.. specifically because I have no desire to see Kardashians, Hedonistic Housewives, or any other kind of television show that follows women around to watch them shop, be catty for the sake of cattiness, bolster the validity of the worst kind of female stereotypes, or otherwise celebrate wastefulness and selfishness. Sorry people, Rome is burning and as such, I could care less about the window treatments, catfights, or in-home mani-pedi that some polished, plucked, spritzed, painted banshee is screeching about in her excessively expensive home.

As I get older, and see more and more people struggling to just fucking FEED themselves and their children on a daily basis, I can't help but find myself vomitously disgusted by these "Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous" throwbacks. But I digress...

NOW, as if ovary-bearing individuals are not slogging their way through enough problems with prevalent rape-culture, street harrassment, and slut-shaming, we've got a new bible for the apologetic battered housewife.. "Love Italian Style: The Secrets of My Hot and Happy Marriage" - by Melissa Gorga

Not only does this book divulge personal details of this woman's systematic abuse and subjugation in her marriage at the hands of her husband, Joe, it goes on to profess that his temper, selfishness, and controlling behaviour are merely "manly" traits that should not only be tolerated, but cherished and lovingly acknowledged as true romance shown from a man to a woman.

In fact, he's so lovingly helicoptering this woman ALL the fucking time, that she wasn't permitted to so much as write the book HERSELF.. oh no.. there are sections written ENTIRELY BY JOE in HER book, to the point that it would appear he is interrupting and shouting over her in printed word as much as we can surmise he does in person.

Here's a real gem by the aforementioned Joe, wherein he appears to find sexual assault both hot and a husbandly duty:

"Men, I know you think your woman isn't the type who wants to be taken. But trust me, she is. Every girl wants to get her hair pulled once in a while. If your wife says "no," turn her around, and rip her clothes off. She wants to be dominated.

Women don't realize how easy men are. Just give us what we want."

DAMN, ladies! Just give them what they want and whenever they want it! Why didn't WE think of that? Probably because our ladybits make us overly emotional and illogical. Thank GOD for men like Joe and the brain-adjusting semen injections they can provide for us! However could we become the ideal dishwashing, brainless, babymaking, bedroom vamping, foundation-plastered automatons we ALL desire to be without all the dick that guys like Joe insist on giving us whenever they feel like it? ALL HAIL THE DEMANDING MAN AND HIS BLESSED SEXUAL AGGRESSION! Didn't you know that toddler-style temper tantrums and demands are COMPLETELY ACCEPTABLE out of grown men? The only difference is that when boys grow into men they are BIG and STRONG and can rip your clothes off to get the "cookies" as is the right of the husband and....

JESUS FUCKING CHRIST ON A CRACKER ARE YOU SERIOUS? REALLY?? SOMEONE ACTUALLY PUBLISHED A CONTEMPORARY BOOK MAKING MARITAL RAPE SOUND NORMAL???

Also, gals... did you know your husband is not supposed to be aware of the bodily functions you and he have in common? Melissa says that women don't shit.

Seriously.

"Girls don't poop. Me, never have. Never will. It just doesn't happen. Or, that's what Joe thinks! We've been married for nine years, and he has never once seen or smelled my business. How have I pulled this off? I don't do it when he's around or awake. In an emergency, I have my ways of pooping so he won't hear, smell, or see. It's a challenge."

Thanks a pantload, Melissa Gorga. .. er.. or not.

This might be where we've all gone wrong, girls. If you're not playing "Hide and Shit", your relationship is doomed. I gotta say, though.. if that is, indeed, "what Joe thinks", Joe is not the sharpest tool in the shed. He's a tool, sure.. just not a very sharp one.

More husbandly advice from the magnanimous Joe..

"To be on the same level, everyone has to get off the high horse. I don't care if the woman makes more money than the man, if he's a janitor and she's the president. After a fourteen-hour workday, if a man comes home and there's no dinner on the table, and his wife is on the phone, watching TV, or on the computer ignoring him, he won't feel respected."

So... leader of the free world best be home early makin' you a steak, huh? What a douchebag..

Oh, and this (from Joe):

"I don't feed babies, or change the diapers. My father never wiped my ass, and I don't wipe my babies' either."

Damn, Melissa.. how do you let him leave the house? I'm sure the bitches are lining up READY to pounce on this one! Sarcasm aside, its really this paragraph from the first chapter that kills me. Basically, a foreword that explains how she got into this mess in the first place..

"I was envious of girls with daddies to turn to. They could make a call, and their fathers would swoop in to fix their car brakes, give them a loan, or make them feel treasured and special. I missed that closeness. I found myself drawn to a certain kind of man, a father figure who made me feel protected and would tell me right from wrong. They weren’t older than me per se. It was the authoritative and instructive personality type—someone who could take charge—that attracted me. I know a lot of women wouldn’t like that. But I responded to it."

If that isn't heartbreaking enough, she later tells of Joe's "instruction" in their married life together, outlining a pattern of abuse that first assures her that there is something wrong with her that needs to be "corrected" and how validating his controlling behaviour is essential to the health of their marriage.

"His style was to make corrections and to teach me from the beginning days of our marriage exactly how he envisioned our life together. Joe always says, "You got to teach someone to walk straight on the knife. If you slip, you're going to get cut." Even if something didn't bother him that badly, he'd bring it up. He wanted to make sure that I knew, for example, if I ran out to CVS and he came home from work to an empty house, he didn't like it. He'd call me and say, "I don't care if you're out all day long. But I don't want to come home to an empty house."

... you know.. God forbid she see herself as an individual person. According to Joe, she isn't. She's a WIFE, and therefore property meant to feed, breed, clean up after, and sexually serve him.

Someone got the big balls and wanna try some "feminism is outdated/unnecessary" shit with me today?


The Feminine Context

Parents Generation v. Current Generation

Borrowed from the FABULOUS TequilaxMockingbird, the "Will" to my "Grace", who got it from God knows where.. hilarious in how tragically accurate it is..

The Feminine Context

Occupy Humanity: Can Empathy Be Saved?

Like most Americans these days, I have worked a variety of jobs over the years. Somehow I have managed to maintain a common thread of occupational skills between jobs, because almost all of the positions I've held have been associated with caregiving. Each new employer could look back on my resume and see that I had been charged with the responsibility of caring for living beings that whose very survival depended on me in one way or another. Whether I cared for children, older adults, disabled persons, or animals, the rules are pretty much the same.

No matter who or what you are responsible for, you must treat them with respect and attempt to maintain the dignity and comfort of that individual. I don't care if you're caring for a sick, aggressive pitbull, or a sick, aggressive older man with dementia; you keep BOTH your prejudice AND "values" the hell out of the room and treat either scenario with the same amount of respect and concern. If you think you can treat either the dog or the man with less respect than the other, then you obviously have no business caring for the one who (due to your bias) receives less of your respect. When it comes to caring for that other living person, their rights are up there nearer to the ceiling, whereas yours are somewhere down below the sewer lines.

That's not an exaggeration or veiled complaint. It has to be that way. Placing the utmost emphasis on the needs of the being who is dependent on you is the only way to ensure that you meet those needs appropriately. Working within this structure of "them before us" prevents neglect, and oddly enough, high turnover of caregiver employees. If you can complete the tasks necessary for your job, do them correctly, and adhere to the standards expected from someone in your particular position, it's a lot easier to "leave it at work" and feel good about what you've done. Those who can achieve some level of "job satisfaction" are a lot more likely to remain in their line of work.

Certain things really came into focus for me when I became certified as a nurse aide. I decided that I eventually wanted to become a registered nurse. Having researched the field of nursing, I became aware that in a hospital or nursing home, nurse aides perform basic nursing tasks under the direction of registered nurses. RNs have more education and authority than nurse aides, and are paid better because of it. It makes no sense from a financial standpoint to pay for a floor's worth of RNs when you can pay a few of them to supervise a team of aides who are trained for basic nursing tasks. I got that part. What I didn't understand is how anyone thought they could be a good supervisor when they'd never done the actual job of the person below them. Thus, I decided to learn the "grunt work" and become a certified aide. I figured if I could get through physically challenging part of nursing, I could get through the academic parts a lot easier, PLUS I'd be a much more effective supervisory nurse than one who'd never had to work as an aide.

I realize now that I had identified a need to develop empathy.

At the time, I just figured it would be in my best interest to be prepared, and that the discipline of learning the job that "real nurses" didn't want to do could only help me in my studies later on. In retrospect, I think there was some part of me that wasn't quite "ripe" yet, and even then, young and stupid, I knew it. I was trying to develop a part of me that could extend the necessity of my career beyond simply meeting my own needs. An ever nagging, "pragmatic" part of me kept whispering in the background, "This is a waste of time. You're practically a straight-a student and you're dicking around with this diploma when you could be putting time into a degree". The "pragmatic" voices outside of my head, namely two friends who were (respectively) a dentist and a doctor, were both pretty busy calling me a fool for not pursuing a degree that would lead me to medical school. They treated my decision to become a nurse like a mental illness, or some sort of self-destructive habit. Upon finding out that I had chosen to first become a nurse aide and not even a full nurse, they began avoiding me whenever possible. My dad, who I'm sure wanted nothing but the best for me, wanted me to do something with my mad computer skills, but the idea of sitting on my ass working in an office (and the few times I had done so) made me sick. Sometimes I wonder if he didn't get some sort of 1980's power-suit idea in his head, and likened that and the presumably accompanying business/marketing/information technology degree to "success". In short, the thought of me changing bedpans seemed to make him feel like I was pursuing a diploma program as a scullery-maid, or worse, scullery-maid trainee. He thought it was "beneath" my capabilities, which didn't exactly make me feel great about my chosen career when things were tough. I took a little bittersweet solace in the fact that almost every one of my friends who had gotten degrees in those aforementioned fields had ended up working jobs in coffee houses or in offices that I, without a degree of that kind, could easily talk my way into. Even though I felt bad for my friends, whose own dads had clearly won the day, at least I knew I'd have a job eventually taking CARE of their dads.

I think it's kind of funny, in a dry sort of way, to recall that all the disapproving people in my life were politically conservative. I'll get back to that in a moment, though.

During the course of my later work in elder care, I realized that by putting my opinions and feelings on hold while I was on duty, I was actually able to not only do my job, but thrive in it. I've met a lot of "retired" CNAs who are working in other fields, usually due to their decision that caregiving work was "too depressing" for them. It's not like these women are making any more money than they were as aides, but the idea of being around people who were either actively dying or just irreversibly on their way to death, was more than they could bear. I had been taught a lot in my courses and a few rules still stick out, even after all the time that's passed between then and now. Notably..

1 - Certain things are never to be brought in to your working hours with someone you are taking care of, specifically your germs and bacteria, your negative emotions, your religion (or lack thereof), your political opinions, and details of your personal life.

2 - Certain things are never to be brought out from your working hours with someone you are taking care of, such as their germs and bacteria, their negative emotions, their religion (or lack thereof), their political opinions, and details of their personal life.

3 - Thou shalt never violate, and always remain alert and in timely practice of the laws of the land. It is your place to adhere to them, not bend, alter, or disrespect them. In remaining vigilant in adherence to legal and ethical standards, the client and caregiver shall both be protected.

4 - Lots of things are simply none of your business. No, really, most things are none of your business. That doesn't mean you get to be snippy and make a comment, gesture, or other flippant, passive-aggressive action that indicates your opinion while somewhat satisfying the job requirement that makes this issue none of your business. If you cannot work with someone without making things your business that shouldn't BE your business, you should call your agency, explain YOUR failing, and ask to be assigned elsewhere (if they still want someone like you to work for them).

5 - It IS your business to care enough about the things that are important to your client (religion, politics, family) to listen, learn, and be able to carry on a conversation that addresses THEIR need for camaraderie, NOT YOURS. If it has to be an act, be Oscar-worthy for it.

6 - If you are treated unkindly or with disrespect, you are never to respond in kind. It is your place to avoid those sorts of outbursts. If your client is too hostile and you cannot seem to resolve the issue OR work with it anymore, contact your supervisor for advice or another assignment. Additionally, consider another line of work. Clearly, something about you that you cannot help is too agitating to your client for you to remain caring for them, OR you're not adhering to rule #1, and/or #2.

These rules are probably read as simply "common sense", but when they have to be put into practice, one finds that most people don't have the discipline to follow them. Worse still, most people do not possess the empathy needed to obviate the need for discipline. If you can empathize with others as well as you need to in order to take full care of another living thing, then it shouldn't be so difficult that you NEED strong discipline to adhere to these fairly simple rules. If this empathy is what it takes to look after someone as their caregiver, then it is reasonable to assume that other positions of authority require the same. In fact, these rules could very easily apply to occupations like teacher, policeman, doctor..

.. politician.

It's really starting to concern me as I watch the ability to empathize, a necessary skill for those in a position of authority or as a representative of others, is not only difficult to discover in our "leaders", it is now something that some of us are beginning to treat with derision. The current crop of hopefuls for the GOP nomination are promoting the poorer sides of human nature to such an extent that public displays of it are not only being accepted, they are being celebrated. Public displays like booing our soldiers for asking questions that someone doesn't want to answer, laughing at the idea of someone dying due to lack of medical treatment, and making rape victims legally and permanently responsible for the ramifications of their attackers actions. Since when did our public opinion change from "Oh how awful, we can't let that happen if we can help it" to "serves them right"?

The "53%" rails against those who "don't pay taxes" because they're old and retired or they are literally so poor that they wouldn't survive if they did pay taxes on the mere pittance they make. The "53%" forget sales tax, payroll tax, and property taxes that everyone pays. Tax refunds are NOT "free money". Tax refunds are exactly that, a refund, of money that very poor people had ripped out of their paychecks over the year, causing strain and hardship to the family hanging on tooth and nail for that paycheck. Worse still, the "53%" have been so indoctrinated with hate, fear, and anger directed at their "opposition", they won't even stop and look at the fact that they are essentially fighting for the right to live a way that THEY don't even want to.

Empathy is defined as "the ability to understand and share the feelings of another", which is something that politicians typically make grand attempts to feign, if nothing else. Historically, this has been done because the ability to empathize is typically demonstrated in those people we feel to be the "best" of us. Empathy is the reason your mother knew why you were sad, even when you didn't. It's why she still hugged you and loved you, even when you knowingly broke her rules. Empathy is the reason your friends call, make efforts to comfort, and listen to you cry when they never liked the stupid boyfriend who ended up breaking your heart exactly the way they KNEW he would. Empathy is the reason the best of your friends don't start off with "I told you so".

A massive load of "us against them" is being heaved upon our society, and the core premise is that the dirty, unwashed "them" is stealing undeserved resources from the noble, moral pockets of "us". Through misdirection of fear and anxiety, some (like the" 53%") are blinded to the fact that there's an effort to divide the ACTUAL "us", and apparently it's working. The truth is that there's only about 1% of "them", and they're doing all they can to bleed "us" dry and cast us into a million tiny factions until we don't recognize anyone else as one of "us". Worse still, "they" are claiming to be devout followers of Christianity, which requires empathy and love for others. "They" profess faith in an effort to make themselves appear moral, ethical, and inarguable. Real "faith" dictates that charity, tolerance, love, and concern for others is what makes you a morally upright human in the eyes of your God. Clearly "they" have no faith whatsoever in God, or they would trust that He would do His works and that their micromanagerial efforts here on Earth were not only unnecessary, but possibly an affront to Him.

With a bit of empathy for those that share your humanity, it's not hard to see that most of "us" are all suffering under the same tyranny brought about by just a few of "them".

The Feminine Context

The Occupation Will Not Be Televised

The 99% are mad as hell, and aren't able to make it anymore.

They've started with "Occupy Wall Street", and there are now groups forming to "Occupy" in other places all over the country. As of 10/05/11 (today) there are over fifty active occupy protest locations and more are forming as you read this post. Due to a media blackout that has not escaped the notice of many people who have been attempting to get information and updates, it would not surprise me at all if you're reading this and only have a vague concept of the whole "Occupy" movement.

That's okay. You're not alone.

I've had to do some direct research in order to gather the information I'm presenting in this. I think the only reason I'm more aware of this movement than quite a few of my friends and associates are, is that by being an active blogger, I have to make a daily effort to observe the pulse of information posted up-to-the-minute in the general blogosphere. Unfortunately, early on in the Wall Street protest, most traditional media sources (newspapers, television) didn't make the story a priority. So, it shouldn't come as much of a shock after the last ten years or so of the internet breaking stories ahead of the professional journalism resources we're supposed to know and trust, the score stands at:

Internet: 1
News Networks: 0

No big surprise there.

So what are these people so fucking pissed off about? The same things that everyone is pissed off about. A Tumblr blog called "We Are The 99 Percent" gives a lot of insight. This is their introduction on the blog:

"Who are we? Well, who are you? If you’re reading this, there’s a 99 percent chance that you’re one of us.

You’re someone who doesn’t know whether there’s going to be enough money to make this month’s rent. You’re someone who gets sick and toughs it out because you’ll never afford the hospital bills. You’re someone who’s trying to move a mountain of debt that never seems to get any smaller no matter how hard you try. You do all the things you’re supposed to do. You buy store brands. You get a second job. You take classes to improve your skills. But it’s not enough. It’s never enough. The anxiety, the frustration, the powerlessness is still there, hovering like a storm crow. Every month you make it is a victory, but a Pyrrhic one — once you’re over the hump, all you can do is think about the next one and how much harder it’s all going to be.

They say it’s because you’re lazy. They say it’s because you make poor choices. They say it’s because you’re spoiled. If you’d only apply yourself a little more, worked a little harder, planned a little better, things would go well for you. Why do you need more help? Haven’t they helped you enough? They say you have no one to blame but yourself. They say it’s all your fault.

They are the 1 percent. They are the banks, the mortgage industry, the insurance industry. They are the important ones. They need help and get bailed out and are praised as job creators. We need help and get nothing and are called entitled. We live in a society made for them, not for us. It’s their world, not ours. If we’re lucky, they’ll let us work in it so long as we don’t question the extent of their charity."

The 99% vs. 1% phenomena they are referring to can be best described with a visual aid, like this one:



Here's the scary part. Look at the small print. This graph was created from information gathered and compiled in 2008. It's almost four years later and by most people's estimations, much worse than it was back then.

I'm going to share in text a few examples of the image-protest that's being added to every day, just to shed a little light on the occupy movement and its members. I highly suggest to any who read this post to GO to that blog and scan through a few pages for yourself. I'm sharing what I could copy and paste in text, but the images are of people holding handwritten notes in front of them, detailing where economic corruption, recession, outsourcing, poor health care, and poor wages have gotten them. THOSE images are far more telling than the bits of text that I could add in this blog.

One thing I couldn't help but notice was a surprisingly large amount of these stories wherein the people telling them have literally turned to things like prostitution, squatting (staying in condemned buildings until caught), living in extended stay hotel rooms with a number of other people, and learning new languages so they can try to find a job abroad. There are young people who are writing about their adult parents who've died at a young age due to conditions that are treatable, but insurance companies found ways to get out of paying for the treatments while the family was still paying for the insurance. Most have no health insurance, can't afford out of pocket care, and a great number of these people are working whatever part-time jobs they can find despite untreated illnesses, some of which are life-threatening.

"This is the last bill i, at 21, can afford. On the front is a water charge for $42.43, i have $47 to my name. I make $7.25 an hour. Minimum wage is $8.00. But lucky for me, i make 10 cents commission per sale which makes my wage legal.
----------------------
"I graduated high school 2 years early, at age 16, in the top 10 of my class, so i could go to college and start working as soon as possible.
I received a scholarship through Florida Bright Futures, for 75% of my tuition…but had $100 per credit hour taken away from me after my first semester, simply because they lacked funding.
Now at only 18 years old, i have a degree, and 2 years experience in my field. I work 40 hrs a week, yet i barely make enough money to cover my bills.
I was always taught that hard work pays off. I want to know when.
I am the 99%. "
----------------------
"My Grandpa was in the Korean War and Viet Nam. He now is a cancer survivor and is surviving by couch-hopping with his 5 children, none of which can let him stay for good because they all are in extreme debt and cant afford it. He is going blind in his left eye, and is too proud of the life foundation he has WORKED SO HARD TO BUILD to get on foodstamps.
WE ARE THE 99%"
---------------------------
"I am 30 years old.
I have been working since I was 16. I have finished at the top of every school I have attended.
I am in over $200K in medical debt from the wreck that killed my wife.
I am homeless after my apartment building burned.
I am trained to spy, hunt, and kill. I am 60% disabled from wars in 3 OTHER COUNTRIES.
I have not found a job in 3 years.
I fear for my daughter’s future.
Everyone I know is homeless, jobless, barely living surviving, and in insurmountable debt.
THIS IS NOT WHAT I FOUGHT AND SACRIFICED FOR!!!
I swore an oath to defend with my life, my Constitution and my Country from ALL ENEMIES foreign & DOMESTIC.
I am 99%, I am pissed off, and I AM COMING FOR THE REST! "
----------------------
I have $65,000.00 in student loan debt because i was told it’s the only way to get a job. I graduated with a 3.87 GPA. And this is what i make, $180 a week.
Next month, I’ll be homeless despite my best efforts, even while my boss drives a 2010 BMW.
Luckily, I AM THE 99%"
-----------------------
"I am 22. My husband and I have lived apart for 3 years. When we were 19, he joined the Navy so we wouldn’t end up on the street. He was stationed out west, and I am stuck in the east. The military does not pay for your family to move if it is your first duty station after joining, and we cannot afford to move me, our animals, or our belongings.
We never wanted this. We are the 99%"
-----------------------
"I am the mother of five children. I lost my job 2 years ago as the manager of a hair salon when the bad economy forced it to close. My husband left me and after a year long battle with the bank trying to get a loan modification, Citimortgage is foreclosing on my home. I live in fear everyday. No one will rent to an unemployed, single parent who survives solely on child support. I am the 99 percent. For pity’s sake, someone help us. "
-----------------------
"I:
* have more than six years of post-high school education
* live in one of the 10 most expensive U.S. cities
* teach your children for less than $20K/year"
------------------------
"I am a college professor, teaching our future generations. But like more than 50% of all college professors, I’m an Adjunct ‘contractor’. This means I can be fired for any reason; this means I receive no paid vacation; this means I receive no health insurance; this means I receive no sick days; this means I receive no retirement; this means I receive no unemployment; this means I pay double Social Security taxes!
And I am paid little better than minimum wage. "
-----------------------
"How can I repay my debts and save for the future when all of my wages from my $9-an-hour food service job go towards disgustingly high rent, outrageously inflated taxes, and out-of-pocket medical expenses? No insurance. No help from anyone. No future unless I sacrifice my dignity in the present. Should I go back to school and take out more debt on the off-chance that things will get better? I can’t even move back home because I don’t have one anymore. I am the 99% and I’m enraged. "
--------------------------
"I lost my job in the downturn. I got sick a month or so later Just as I was about to find a job. I still had a month of insurance left, but my doctor misdiagnosed an infection of stomach worms. He got his degree from the antilles, but felt confident enough to tell my family I was having a mental break down and “nothing could possibly be wrong with me.”
I was denied medicaid, disability, all the “hand outs”. I stayed sick for two years without medical treatment. I could have been cured in a third world country for about $30. We only found out what was causing it when I started bleeding out my anus, and i threw up a pile of worms. Then they believed me. "
------------------------
"
I’m 43 years old. I did everything right. I went to college, got my degree, and paid off my student loans. I always pay my bills on time. I have a pretty nice apartment, I have a professional job & I have health insurance. In that, I’m much more fortunate than a lot of people here. For that, I’m grateful. But even that doesn’t mean much for my future, because:

• I earn less than I did 10 years ago. In the meantime, rents, gas prices & food costs have DOUBLED.
• I’m not a spendthrift, but I now owe about $16K in credit card debt. Why? I had to use the cards to pay for car repairs, building supplies for a home I no longer live in, and even to PAY MY INCOME TAXES!
• I recently had a diagnostic test. It cost $2K+. ALL OF THAT was applied to my $2,500 health insurance deductible.
• I borrowed money from my retirement fund so my brother and sister-in-law (and their 3 kids) wouldn’t lose their home over a property tax lien.
• I have NO SAVINGS…
• … and every time I start paying down my credit card debt, some emergency comes up, and because I have no savings, the credit card takes the hit.

I have NO IDEA how I’m ever going to get ahead, or even tread water. I want to take care of my mother—she deserves it!—but I can barely take care of myself. If I had kids, I’d be SCREWED!I have to believe things will get better before I’m so ground down by the relentless treadmill of “doing the right thing” that I can’t function anymore.
I am the 99%. And I’m PISSED OFF!"
-----------------------------------
"My aunt has resigned herself to die at the hands of lung cancer because she knows that her family would not be able to pay her medical bills. I won’t be able to see her again before she dies because my job will fire me if I ask for days off. I live on a couch at my friend’s because she is a SAINT. I made $100 last week. 24% of people in my town are unemployed, so I am lucky. I’m lucky I didn’t go to college, because I have no student debt. I think I may be dying, but I’m not going to the doctor either. I can’t afford treatment for what I believe I have. I am dying for the 1%. We all are, in one way or another. I am the 99%."
----------------------------------

This inequality and suffering is why Occupy Wall Street is protesting. More people are barely surviving from month to month than ever before, most of them somehow making too much to qualify for any of the "safety net" programs that conservative politicians are trying to cut. Here's a newsflash for you. THERE IS NO WELFARE. I don't know why people are still tossing around that term, but in most states (if not all, by now) there are very VERY few programs that are available to help needy families or individuals with anything. The only programs that are usually available to help your average, unemployed, poverty-stricken families or individuals are Supplemental Nutritional Assistance Programs (SNAP/Food Stamps), WIC (Women, Infants, and Children), and Medicaid for pregnant women, children, and the disabled (IF the disabled can prove need, which is dicey at best).

SNAP gives you a set amount of money (based on income and number of household members) on a debit-card that you can spend on food-only items every month, and it is notorious for losing application paperwork, being cancelled without any notice, and generally being hard to get approved for. To get them, you need to fill out an application, go through a telephone interview, and if you make it that far and someone bothers to call you for that interview, you have to bring proof of income and expenses. Any expense other than rent/mortgage, child/dependent care, and utility bills will not count. If your benefits get cancelled due to a clerical error (which are suspiciously frequent), you'll have to go through more bullshit to get an audience with a caseworker than you would to get an audience with the Wizard of Oz.

WIC gives you vouchers for (while pregnant) three gallons of milk, one dozen eggs, 16oz of cheese, 18 oz of peanut butter, 36oz dry cereal, 1lb dry beans, and 1 loaf of whole wheat bread each month. After the baby is born, WIC gives you some formula vouchers at that point unless you claim you're going to breastfeed, in which case they give you what you had before, plus one more gallon of milk, an extra dozen eggs, and six cans of tuna. From what I understand, eventually you can get some baby food vouchers, but not a lot.

Medicaid covers a pregnant mother up til three months after the baby is born, and then, provided the baby is healthy, the baby should be covered (if the parents income still qualifies) up to eighteen years, renewable every year. The baby/child's coverage can also be terminated at any time, without warning, usually because the child developed some sort of condition that Medicaid refuses to cover. Medicaid is for primarily well babies. If you need Medicaid because you're disabled, sometimes the red tape can hang you up for years, by which point you may already be dead.

Where I live, the only kind of "welfare" is Family Assistance, which requires the applicant to attend seminars on job hunting and basic skills that most working adults already possess. To continue to get FA, you have to attend these seminars for approximately 40 hours per week, which means that you need to obtain child care if you have children. Payoff? For a family of two parents and one child, the approximate payout for FA is $83.00 per week. That's two adults and one child (for whom child care must be provided while the adults are completing the weekly FA requirements), and that $83.00 is for the WHOLE FAMILY.

If you wonder why I know this about state aid in so much detail, it's because I am a mother of one who was trying to feed myself and my spouse on what WIC and Community Food Banks would give us while I was pregnant. I worked until my seventh month, my spouse worked two jobs and that's only because he couldn't find a third. We applied for SNAP benefits for almost six months with exactly what they asked for in the application and kept getting denied for "lack of documentation with application". We didn't get help with food assistance until two months after our daughter was born. We had to get off WIC because the local office demanded that I get my child's pediatrician to give my baby her "six-month" immunizations at three months old, so they could do all of the office's paperwork at once. When I refused (because it's illegal and unsafe to give advanced immunizations early), they discontinued my benefits. Thank God I was so hell-bent on breastfeeding my baby, or I would have had no way to feed her in those early months.

We rented an apartment unit in a building that was TECHNICALLY supposed to be condemned. It had no insulation, and we had to take showers at our families' houses because ours didn't work. I was going to go back to work, but we couldn't afford childcare. It was cheaper for me to stay home with the baby, cook our food, and juggle the bills and payment arrangements. We worked side jobs (housecleaning, babysitting, etc), and did nothing but send out applications and resumes for my spouse while he was working a full and part-time job.

WE are some of the lucky ones. We're doing better now, but my spouse has to commute across the state border to go to his job. In order to make enough to hold down the bills, he has to work a lot of sixteen hour days. It's still cheaper for me to stay home and care for our child. She's still got Medicaid because she's healthy, but her father and I have no healthcare and both of us have health problems. We're holding on for our tax refund so that we can afford a deposit on a better place to live that will cost us less to heat and cool. I am over $14k in student debt so my credit is shot, whereas my spouse just doesn't have "sufficient" credit. I made good grades in school, we live frugally, and do nothing but care for our daughter. We are one broken down car, health emergency, or lost job away from complete disaster.

We are also, part of the 99%.

Class warfare is ON, motherfuckers.